Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy
by x Veela x
Summary: How does History happen? Well, it's just only thing after another, really. Original version, repost in progress.
1. Dance or Dare

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, unfortunately I do not own any of these characters… They all belong to JKR. **

**Any title suggestions are welcome **

Lexie this one is just for you - a Marauders fic! Hope you enjoy it xXx

Chapter 1- Dance or Dare

"I'm bored," James declared as they walked out of the Great Hall after breakfast on Sunday.

"You're always bored, Prongs beaca-" Sirius was distracted by a large group of girls walking past them, one of them swinging her long, red hair over her shoulder and pointedly ignoring the Marauders. James had noticed her.

"Hey, why don't we take a trip down to the lake, it's a bit hot in here?"

"You read my mind, Padfoot." They followed the girls down to the lake and sat down under the shade of a large oak tree.

"So, Padfoot. Who're you taking to the dance then? The girl from this week, last week or the week before?"

"Well I was thinking about ask-"

They were suddenly distracted by a small house elf that ran past them with a large parcelled box in her hands. She stopped when she reached a greasy-haired, lanky teenager with an overly large nose talking to the group of girls.

"Excellent, Snivellus." Sirius hissed. He and James got up and walked over with Peter trailing along behind. Remus stopped reading to watch the scene. .

"Excuse me, sir, but this arrived for you just after the morning post, sir. The boy stood up and looked at the Marauders then muttered his thanks before taking the package.

"So, Severus. What was it you were going to ask me?" Snape faltered and looked at the girl and then looked back at James and Sirius.

"I… errr… ahem…"

"What's in the box, Snape?" James demanded. Snape opened the box and Sirius pounced on it, snatching up the contents. When he shook the lacy dress-robes out, a note fell out. James swooped down and picked up the note before reading it out loud. He raised his voice and made sure everyone was watching him, while Sirius inspected the robes holding them by the tips of his fingers as though they might infect him.

"_My darling Son,_" James read, "_Good luck with the girls, any of them would be honoured to have you. I have sent you these, bringing you the best of luck. Love you lots, Mummy x"_

The boys roared with laughter and Snape blushed into the roots of his hair.

"I hope you weren't thinking of asking Evans to the dance, were you?" James managed to choke out. Snape grabbed the robes and ran off in the direction of the castle. Sirius applauded (Peter joined in) and James smirked and bowed to the girls adding, "In you _honour_". Lily stood up and glared at him, blushing slightly.

"Oh _get lost_ Potter! What do you want?"

"I-", he pointed at himself, "want you-" he pointed at Lily, "to go to the summer dance with me." Before she could reply, he had grabbed her hands, placed on his shoulder and held the other in his before waltzing around Peter and Sirius, who was pretending to play a violin. She pushed James away and hissed,

"I don' t want to go out with you Potter! And as long as you remain the arrogant prick that you are and keep picking on people weaker than you for no good reason at all then it will always be a no! Besides, I'm already going with someone who didn't ask me at the last minute!" She stormed past him and found another spot around the lake. The group of girls went to join her, giggling at James as they past him.

James was relieved she didn't go after Snape but hurt all the same. He put on a smirk and strutted past the girls, back to the tree where Remus was sitting. Remus put his hand on James shoulder and muttered, "Don't give up." Trying to change the subject he added, "Full moon tonight."

"No dance for you then." Sirius sniggered.

Groups of girls came walking by their tree very slowly, looking hopefully at James and Sirius. Since the episode, it had clearly got around that on the day of the dance two of the Marauders were still dateless.

"Well, Prongs, you can't have Lily, so who else are you going to ask. They're all out there, mate, just waiting for you."

"If I can't go with Lily I don't think I'm going to go. I don't fancy watching some git prance around with her all night." James grimaced.

"So Moony can't go, Wormtail hasn't got anyone to go with and you won't go. Well then, there's no point in me going is there?"

"So it's just going to be us sitting around in the common room all night?" Pete asked. Sirius raised his eyebrow.

Remus noticed, "What have you got in mind? Care to share?"

"I was thinking -"

"Why? What's wrong?" James raised his hand to Sirius's forehead. Sirius swatted it away and continued,

"Thinking that everyone will be at the dance, teachers included. Maybe we could try keeping Moony company."

"I'm up for it. Anyone else?" James looked at Peter who looked aprehensive.

"Go on - I dare you. But if you're too coward-"

"Ok, I'm in!"

They turned to look at Remus.

"Tonight it is then. Thanks you lot. It'll be nice to have some company."

**My first attempt at a Marauders fic - what do you think? Good? Bad? Ugly?**

**Now press the little purple button - go on you know you want to! xXx**


	2. Transformations

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, unfortunately I do not own any of these characters… They all belong to JKR.**

**Chapter 2 – Transformations**

"Snape is _such_ a git!" James proclaimed to his three best friends. They were sitting in the Gryffindor common room. The sun was very low in the sky casting an orange glow around the Hogwarts castle before it sunk into the dark depths of the forest only to return again next morning.

"And it just took you 'till now to work it out? Looks like Lily was right about you after all. You really aren't that bright." Sirius was sitting next to James on the comfy sofa close to the fire.

"And that's another thing," James carried on with a glance at Sirius – do we actually know who she's going with?"

"Dunno, lets check the map." Remus put a marker in _Hogwarts, a History _and turned to the table on which numerous books lay. Herummaged around in the pile of parchment stuffed in a book and came up with the folded treasure.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He tapped the parchment and scanned it for the name _Lily Evans_. He jerked his head towards the staircases that rose to the dormitories, "She's up in the girls' dorm? I thought she said she had a date?"

James sat up as if burned and snatched the parchment out of Remus's hands, scanning it with a murderous look on his face, hoping the map was playing up. No, there it was, _Lily Evans_. He looked up at the stunned look on his friends' faces. He didn't notice that the label _Lily Evans _was moving closer to the labels _James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin _and _Peter Pettigrew_. "So did I! Maybe she just said that so I'd leave her alone 'till tomorrow?"

"No she didn't," a girl's voice said behind them, "and she'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about her behind her back. How did you know I wasn't at the dance yet anyway?" Lily skipped the last step of the staircase and sauntered towards the fire, her long red hair swaying partly over her shoulder as she came closer.

"Erm-" the boys faltered. James surprisingly found his voice first, "Ok I admit it I was here watching for you to see if you had changed you mind" He spread his hands in an open gesture and smirked a lopsided grin at her.

"Well, no I haven't," She raised one hand to conceal a mischievous grin while the other hand was propped on her hip, "I'm meeting Lucius a little after the dance had started. We want to make an entrance." The Marauders's jaws dropped open.

"Lucius?"

"You know, tall, blonde, Slytherin. All about inter-house unity, right?" She dropped her cloak over a sofa and revealed a short, green dress with gold glittering at her neck, earlobes and wrists. "Have fun – er sitting here all night!" She called as she swaggered out the door.

* * *

**Lily's POV**

_Haha the look on Potter's face! It was worth me going with Lucius just to get that look! Oh well, onto the dance. Much boredom and snide comments to come. I still haven't worked out why he should ask me to go with him – we've always had an unspoken agreement- he ignores me if I ignore him._ Her thoughts were interrupted by a silky drawl,

"Ahh, Lily," there was a smirk on Lucius's face, but Lily thought that that was nothing out of the ordinary. A smirk represented all his emotions except anger or frustration and even then, only his upper lip curled into a snarl.

"Lucius," She said as she accepted his offered arm, " before we go in, why did you ask me, I'm a - I'm not a pure blood? You know that."

He bent down and whispered, "Let's just say I've realised your, ahem, _full potential_."

* * *

**In the Great Hall…**

"Welcome," was Dumbledore's opening as he outstretched his arms as if welcoming his students into a hug, "welcome to the five hundredth anniversary of Hogwarts hosting and winning its very first Trwizard Tournament." Applause rang out, "Also a welcome to a band I've found responsible for some out of tune humming in the shower – two spectres and a werewolf!" He gestured to the performers, while the students clapped and cheered, "All I have to say now, is don't step on you partner's toes!" He raised his hands as light flooded the platform where the teacher's table was usually, and the band started to play while students began to lead their partners onto the dance floor. Dumbledore looked up at the hall's ceiling, mimicking the weather outside. He beckoned to Professor McGonagall and they disappeared through the side door.

The Great Hall doors were kept open though people stared as two figures; an unlikely couple walked through the massive archway and walked half the length of the Great Hall to stand in the middle of the crowd of Slytherins that had parted to let them through.

* * *

**Back in the Gryffindor Common room…**

"Lucius?" James repeated his brow was furrowed and his eyes flashed with anger, sensing that something was amiss, "Why would he ask her? One, she's a Gryffindor, two she's not a pureblood, three -"

"Okay, stop yelling at us. Malfoy's up to something, we understand you." Remus stooped down to pick the map up after it had fallen through James's fingers. He tapped it and muttered, "Mischief managed." Before picking up his book again and returned to his armchair next to the fire.

Sirius grimaced as he looked at the notice board that now held an enlarged version of the note that had fallen out of Snape's dress robes, "Moony's right. However, may I point out that you've only got the rest of this week, then the summer holidays, then it'll be our last year of Hogwarts; your last year to win fair maiden's heart." James sank his head into his hands.

The portrait opened again and the Marauders looked up to see Professor McGonagall walking through the portrait hole with the Headmaster. "Lupin," she said, her eyes fixing on the group by the fire, "Lupin, it's time to go." Remus stood up and started putting his books back in his bag. Meanwhile Dumbledore looked around at the other Marauders, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Not at the dance, boys? Surely such famed pranksters as yourselves could have gotten yourselves a date?" The Marauders looked at each other uneasily.

"Well, Sir," Peter fidgeted nervously, "James is licking his wounds so to speak, and Sirius didn't want to go on his own."

Dumbledore winked at James, "Patience is an admiral asset, as is courage" he added with a knowing smile, "Prized high above conceit. And yourself?" he looked at Peter.

"Umm, I never really excelled at dancing, Sir."

"Ah." was all Dumbledore said. He turned towards the portrait followed by Professor McGonagall and Remus.

Sirius waited until they had definitely started down the corridor before, "Wands?"

"Check." They held up their wands.

"Cloak?" James reached under the armchair.

"Check."

"Let's go." They set off down out the portrait and followed Remus until Dumbledore paused outside the Great Hall. It was almost as though he was waiting for something. James threw the cloak over himself and his friends. They were positioned near enough to the doors that James was able to catch a flash of red with white blonde – he caught sight of Lily dancing with Lucius. They were pressed close together in the middle of the dance floor and his head was bent low as he whispered something in her ear. She drew back and smiled as she nodded. James's fists were clenched so much as to turn white and he felt a monster roar inside his chest. He longed to crash into the hall and smash Lucius into a thousand pieces. He felt Sirius's elbow in his ribs before he realised he was emitting a low growl.

"Press on, Minerva; I've caught my breath now." Through the crowd, James just managed to catch sight of Lucius reach for Lily's hand as he led her off the dance floor and walked slowly toward the doors. Their progress was slow as couples stopped talking to watch them walk by, wondering how the unlikely pairing had come about, sometimes with an occasional whistle or comment. However, James felt a push in the back and he once more followed Remus's trail.

As usual, they were headed in the direction of the violent tree in the Hogwarts grounds; however, tonight they had to make a detour. The Marauders's nostrils filled with the scent of roses that accompanied the maze of hedges that conceal the owners of muffled laughter. Clearly, for some people, the dance was a success.

When they were just out of range of the tree's giant, sweeping branches, Dumbledore stopped to take out his wand. He aimed it at the base of the tree where a knot was made visible by the light of Professor McGonagall's wand. Dumbledore mad a small jabbing motion and the tree froze, it's branches no longer fussing. The three Marauders waited for the Professors to be well on their way back to the castle.

"Well, here I go." Peter ducked out from under the cloak and closed his eyes an expression of concentration etched onto his face. Slowly, he began to transform. He shrunk as his clothes disappeared to reveal a tail, four furry paws, and a pointed face with whiskers. Wormtail had done it. The rat darted in between the swishing branches, the huge tree unable to keep up with the agile rat. James and Sirius ran through the tree, James stuffing the cloak into his robes. They jumped down the hole followed by the rat. The tree sprang back, its branches swirling about as if the tree knew that it had been cheated.

James threw open the door as shrieks filled the air. Remus was transforming. A black bear-like dog hurled itself at Remus and jumped down to circle the werewolf. The wolf snarled and his eye flickered in anger. Sirius sprang again at the werewolf and growled a low, defensive growl as if to dominate himself. After the wounds the werewolf took from Sirius, it backed down and accepted him. The stag however was another matter. James lowered his antlers at the werewolf, but was caught with a huge paw instead, throwing him into a corner. The werewolf advanced on the stag and was about to strike again, but a snarl form the huge black dog made the werewolf stop. Sirius jerked his head towards the door. If it weren't for the piercing pain James felt and the danger of the situation, he would have found the sight of the dog jerking its head at the door funny. The stag limped to the door, and then scampered out of sight. James focused hard and managed to transform back into his human form. The rat followed him to the entrance to press the knot on the tree before James darted away from the howls that tore through the air.

James collapsed on a bench in the hedges as he felt blood drip down his jaw line onto his robes. He hung his head in despair. He was over there while Sirius and Peter were with Remus. His thoughts of self loathing were abandoned as he saw a familiar flash of red run past him, not noticing his lean form in the shadows. James threw his invisibility cloak on and crept round the hedges past couples entangled with each other until he heard sobbing. He tracked the sound down until he saw the mane of red hair surrounding the form on the ground.

Lily sat on the cold, hard ground with her knees brought up to her face, her hair falling all around her shoulders. She rubbed her arms as a chill wind swept over her. She was startled by a movement in the trees in front of her. _If this is him, coming to haunt me after **that**_-

"Lily?" A dark form appeared out of nowhere. Lily could see by the light of the glowing fireflies fluttering around that she was still safe. "Lily?" James's voice ached with pain. There was something in his voice that made her looked into his hazel eyes. She let out a gasp as she saw the bloody slashes on his face. He pulled her into hug before she could say anything.

James let her go only to sit himself on the ground before lifting her into his lap, his shirt absorbing her tears. He felt her shiver as his arms enveloped her. He wrapped a cloak around them. The invisibility cloak.

Before they could say anything, a crowd came into their private clearing. One of the boys had long white blond hair. He recounted the events of the dance to roaring laughter. As he went further into the story, James held onto Lily tighter.

He knew why she was crying.

**A big thank you to Mei Queen xXx**

**You know you want to review … push the button … xXx**


	3. Memories

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, unfortunately I do not own any of these characters… They all belong to JKR.**

**Some of this will be a little confusing to know whose point of view, when and where so before each little section, I will tell you. If it confuses you more, ignore it, if it doesn't - great.**

**Chapter 3 – Memories**

**_Previously;_**

_He felt her shiver as his arms enveloped her. He wrapped a cloak around them. The invisibility cloak._

_Before they could say anything, a crowd came into their private clearing. One of the boys had long white blond hair. He recounted the events of the dance to roaring laughter. As he went further into the story, James held onto Lily tighter. _

_He knew why she was crying._

**

* * *

**

**(Lily, Marauders' dorm, present)**

Through a tiny slit in the hangings, warm Sunday sunlight bathed Lily's eyes, awakening her to reality. As she realised it was not a dream, tears began to fall down her cheeks again. A strong arm around her waist, bringing her closer to a well- muscled torso confused her for a second. She looked up and brushed the raven hair out of those comforting hazel eyes.

"James, how am I going to face them?" He snuggled her closer to him, the flowery scent of her hair filling his world, capturing a memory he was going to have forever: Lily Evans waking up in his arms. She looked up at him, her sparkling eyes filled with pain and fear.

"Don't worry, we'll all help you get through it. There's one more thing though."

"What?" She wondered what the next step could be.

"Dumbledore has to know." Her eyed widened and her cheeks flushed as she pictured herself telling Dumbledore. "Do you want me to come with you?" Lily managed a nod before burying herself into his chest again. She wouldn't complain about him being late because of quidditch again in a hurry.

* * *

**(James/ Lily/ James, Marauders' dorm, previous night)**

When James had carried Lily up the stairs to the Marauders' dormitory the night before, he was met by three surprised and concerned looks. He had shook his head and placed Lily down into his bed. She had nearly cried herself to sleep.

Lily was just able to remember James lying down beside her, feeling his chest vibrate and rumble as he muttered to his friends what had happened. She had even felt a salty tear drip from his eyes onto her cheek. The tip of her tip of her tongue had tasted his tear and her heart had melted.

"We'll stay downstairs for tonight." Sirius had promised.

"I'm sorry." Remus had whispered as he drew the hangings on James's bed.

* * *

**(Professor McGonagall/ Narrator, her office/ Dumbledore's office, present)**

There was a knock on Professor McGonagall's door and James Potter walked in followed by Lily Evans.

"Potter, it's normally me dragging you in here for some misdeed not the other way around. What ever is the matter?" She asked noticing the tearstains on the girl's face and the black hoodie she was wearing that was clearly not hers.

"Professor, I'm sorry, but we need to talk to Professor Dumbledore. Urgently."

Without another word the young woman stood up from behind her desk and led the students out of her office and towards a gargoyle. She knew it must be important.

"Sugar Quill." The gargoyle leaped aside and they stepped onto the lift to the Headmaster's office. She timidly knocked and opened the door. She stepped into his office, "Mr Potter and Miss Evans to see you, Sir." He looked up from _The Prophet_ with a slightly startled look, his eyebrows raised into his chestnut hair.

"Thankyou, Minerva." She turned to go, but James moved slightly to the right, blocking her path.

"Professor, I think you should stay to hear this." As Dumbledore conjured seating, Fawkes fluttered over to James and three glistening tears traced the paths of the three deep, bloody slashes on his face. James took Lily's hand as she stared at the phoenix, and led her to the two-seater sofa. Fawkes flew into the air and landed on Lily's shoulder. He began to cry again, but this time, the moisture landed on her heart.

Dumbledore stared at the bird before seeing Lily's tears mingling with Fawkes's. "There is an easier way." She looked up at him, uncomprehending. He continued, "would you permit us to relive your memory?" Lily thought about it for a second and then nodded. Dumbledore touched each person with his wand, and James felt a soaring sensation in his stomach as Dumbledore's office spun out of view to be replaced by the Great Hall.

"People cannot see or hear you, but I advise you to keep within a close distance of Lily so not to lose her."

* * *

**(Lily, Great Hall, Lily's present memory, previous night)**

_He bent down slightly as he whispered in my ear, "We are quite the common focus here tonight." He dropped his voice so it was barely audible over the dance, "Slytherin Common room?" Over the noise, all I heard was common so I smiled and nodded. He took my hand and linked it through his arm and we walked out of the Great Hall, with people whistling at us or whispering to their neighbours about us as we passed. He led me down a series of corridors past the Potions classroom that I had never seen before. We stopped at a picture of a snake sneaking through grassland, slithering after a lioness with her cubs. "Pureblood," He said. He smirked at me and drew me through the opening portrait into the Slytherin Common room decorated with green and silver where my common room was red and gold. There were dark green sofas clustered around a fire. I recognised faces and saw flashing lights telling me to get out. Lucius held onto me harder and walked me into the middle of the crowd._

* * *

**(James, Slytherin Common room, Lily's present memory, previous night)**

With Dumbledore and McGonagall, I followed Lily through the corridors into the Slyhtering Common room. Faces turned to them; I saw Macnair, Nott, Crabbe, Goyle, and Black. Lucius stepped into the middle of the crowd and turned to face his admirers, a position very familiar to me. As Malfoy began to talk to his followers, James felt a memory float to the front of his mind.

* * *

**(James's memory, Gryffindor Common room, past)**

_The crowd of cheering Gryffindors parted to let the Marauders through, cheering at their latest prank. James and Sirius smirked sat each other and stood on the table in the middle of the crowd, recounting the prank in loud voices. He faltered as he noticed Lily push past a group of first years and storm up to the girls' dormitories. He was about to call her name, but the front of the crowd was waving their arms at Sirius and James as if they were hailing them._

* * *

**(James, Slytherin Common room, Lily's present memory, previous night)**

He watched as Bellatrix handed her a small glass filled with a light blue liquid. She motioned for Lily to drink the glass. Lucius motioned her to stand up and he levitated her as if she was on a platform. Lily wasn't moving. Lucius held up a purple velvet book, found his marked page, then began to read. Out of the corner of his eye, Dumbledore tapped Lily with his wand again, and again James felt a soaring sensation in his stomach before he began to visualise the diary entry Lucius was verbalising.

* * *

**(James, Lily's childhood home, Lily's past memory, past)**

As a bystander, James watched a little girl with two red braids being led blindfolded out into a garden by her mother. In front of them, there was a small crowd of children hushing each other with big grins on their faces. In front of them all, another girl of about seven stood next to a big cake with candles that a tall man was lighting. The young Lily bit her lip with anticipation, trying not to smile. When they were standing in front of the cake, Lily's sister reached out and took her hand before her father held up three fingers. _One,_ he mouthed and put a finger down _Two, _he put a second finger down, when he put the third finger down, mouthing _Three_, Lily's mother removed the blindfold and Lily jumped a bit when she heard then all shout, "Happy Birthday!"

James watched the muggle birthday party go on as a game of tag started. He followed Lily as a raven-haired boy, not unlike himself chased her. They ran until he caught up with her and tagged her, pushing her accidentally a little bit too hard into a recently watered flowerbed. Her knee scraped across a fragment of broken pottery in the flowerbed and as she brought her knee up, some water dripped onto the cut, turning the soil into mud. The mud began to run down her leg, mingling with the trickle of blood.

* * *

**(Lily, Slytherin Common room, Lily's present memory, previous night)**

_As I heard my childlike tones go through my birthday party, leaked out my eyes and cascaded down my cheeks. I had tried to be strong, but it wasn't working. After the drink I had felt my muscles freeze as I was levitated for all to see as Lucius finished my diary entry. He was still smirking! What else could he do to me? Nott's wand lowered me a little, just so my feet were nearly on the ground. The tears fell off m cheeks and landed on my chest, the curves of my breasts directing them into the middle. Their eyes followed the path of the tears as I cried harder, although willing myself not to as I realised what they had in mind._

_Bellatrix stood up and smirked at me before walking out the common room and up the staircase. I turned my eyes back to Lucius. He had taken the responsibility for my levitation and he spread himself out over the sofa watching while Macnair moved closer to me. Nott mirrored him and they both put burning hands on my waist, pushing my dress down and breaking the flimsy straps. The silky dress flowed down my upper body, but stopped when it came to my hips. Thank my mother for those hips that stopped me fitting into small sizes and being able to step out of skirts. As the hands on the right side of my body moved up, the hands on the left side of my body moved down. I knew it as useless to try and move, my arms and legs were frozen by the potion and I couldn't even move my lips to scream. The clock on the mantelpiece chimed midnight and two figures appeared on the staircase. Bellatrix and Narcissa. The latter spoke, "Malfoy, you promised me you were mine after midnight. I kept my part of the bargain." Malfoy smirked and tucked the top of my dress into the top of my strapless bra. He stood up and offered her his arm._

_"Take her back to the dance, boys." He lowered his wand completely and Crabbe and Goyle each took one of my arms. My legs had barely recovered enough to walk, when they esorted me through the halls after Lucius and Narcissa. When the couple strode into the Great Hall, Crabbe and Goyle took me the other way and led me into the maze of gardens outside. Glowing insects surrounded me as I used all my energy to escape into the hedges before I collapsed to the floor. I struggled to get myself into a sitting position as my body was burning, feeling pins and needles all over. A howl tore trough the air, but I was too distraught and cold to care. Minutes later I heard single footsteps and the hedged moved in front of me. "Lily?" Someone appeared before me. "Lily?" James' voice made me raise my head. As I looked into his face, I saw three bloody slashes across it and heard a sharp intake of breath before realising that it was me. He crushed me into a hug before I could say anything. He sat himself on the ground and lifted me into his lap I was too weak to protest and grateful for his warmth and protection. As he wrapped a cloak around me I realised that he actually cared about me and didn't just want me because I kept rejecting him._

* * *

**(Dumbledore, gardens, Lily's present memory)**

I tapped the eyes of Minerva, James and Lily so they could see through James's invisibility cloak. I watched the Slytherins invade, not knowing that they were being overheard. I looked at the marks on James's face, and heard the howl of a werewolf in the distance.

**I feel bad about doing that to Lily, but it had to happen. **

**Well you get Chapter 3 the day after Chapter two! Aren't you lucky! Keep reviewing! xXx**


	4. Consequences

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, unfortunately I do not own any of these characters… They all belong to JKR.**

**Chapter 4 – Consequences - REPOSTED**

**In this chapter it seems like Lily has no girlfriends. This is not true, she does have friends, but the point is demonstrating that the Marauders have become her friends, rather than seeking each other out for an argument.**

_**Previously: (Dumbledore, gardens, Lily's present memory)**_

_I tapped the eyes of Minerva, James and Lily so they could see through James's invisibility cloak. I watched the Slytherins invade, not knowing that they were being overheard. I looked at the marks on James's face, and heard the howl of a werewolf in the distance._

-------

As Sirius, Remus and Peter walked into the Great Hall for breakfast they were met by a crowd of Slytherins roaring with laughter. They looked at each other uneasily. As Sirius was marching towards them, they spotted Lily and James. Whistles surrounded them and Lily's eyes blazed with anger.

Lucius Malfoy turned to smirk at Lily as James beckoned for the Marauders to come and stand with him behind Lily. Malfoy walked slowly up to her and tilted her chin up with a long, pale index finger. "My," he drawled, "don't you look cute when you're angry." Lily wanted to slap his hand away from her, but she just smiled up at him and replied,

"Wow, thanks. You know you look really hot today." Remus, Sirius and Peter looked quizzically at James, but the corners of his mouth twitched and he winked at them, plainly telling them to wait and see.

The Slytherins guffawed and from any other boy, the sound emerging form Malfoy's mouth would have been called a snort. "What's this, Evans? Declaring your opinion so widely?"

She smirked back at him. "I think you may have overheated a bit, Malfoy. Here let me help cool you down!" She reached behind her on the Slytherin table, lifted a full pitcher of pumpkin juice and splashed the whole lot over him. The hall erupted in gales of laughter and Malfoy came up spluttering, his long blonde locks drenched. Lily spun around, placed herself at the Gryffindor table and began to serve herself some breakfast. The Headmaster strode through the Great Hall, his brow furrowed, but the sparkle his eyes twinkled as he looked at the scene before him. When the Slytherins realised the Headmaster was behind them, silence filled the hall. Dumbledore spoke quietly; the Marauders could not hear what was being said. Malfoy, Macnair, Nott, Crabbe and Goyle followed Dumbledore out the hall shooting death glares at the Marauders. Remus reached over and tapped Earnest McMillan on the shoulder.

"How far did they get through the story?" he asked, jerking his head in the direction of the Slytherin table.

"Just to the end of the diary entry," the Hufflepuff's eyes widened, "There was more?" The Marauders shook their heads and sat on either side of Lily, James and Remus on her right, Sirius and Peter on her left.

During the day that followed, the story had circulated round the entire school, the Fat Lady having been informed by a dim-witted first year; the Ravenclaws had heard from her friend Violet who in turn felt the Hufflepuffs should know so as not to feel left out. None other than Narcissa had previously boasted the story to the Slytherins. However, Lily turned a blind eyes to the leering snakes, smirked as they would suddenly found themselves inconvenienced in various ways as a Ravenclaw passed, and accepted kind words and loving embraces from the Hufflepuffs. It seemed only the Slytherins had found the torture amusing. The Marauders had placed Lily in the middle of their gangster line, protecting her on either side, Remus walking in front of her while Peter walked two paces behind her.

The culprits sauntered down the marbled staircase flanked by a horde of tiny house elves laden with trunks, brooms, and various other belongings. As they faced the Marauders, other students halted to stare at the rivals.

"So, Malfoy," Sirius began, "it seems your actions have caught up with you."

"Oh, well observed Black, make note it'll happen to you one day, you're all in our prayers. We're leaving now a little earlier than we planned, but make no mistake about it, we'll be back next year." He added in an undertone," The mudblood hasn't gotten away with it." James started towards Malfoy, but was held back by Sirius. He was about to shake off his friend, when a cool hand enclosed around his flexed biceps. Lily's voice whispered in his ear, her breath tickling the back off her neck. James burst out laughing as he broke his glare on Malfoy's' eyes to notice his hair. When prompted by Professor McGonagall, the Slytherins stalked out the door unscathed. James was still chuckling as he collapsed onto the sofa in the Gryffindor common room.

He hadn't realised pumpkin juice stained.

**Yes, ok, it's still too short, but I was stuck for ideas and if the end of the next chapter was now, then people might get a little frustrated with James.**

**Reviews would be appreciated xXx**


	5. Revelations

_Authoress's note _

_Ok, bear with me for the moment, there will actually be a chapter, but I would like you all to read this first. I have re-read the previous chapters and I really am not that fond of it. I thank you all for the positive reviews so far. During the months that I have not updated (sorry), I hope my writing has got better. I wanted to delete this story and re-write it, but I need to prove to myself that I could improve. The plot line has changed dramatically, as I saw I was just rambling on in no particular direction. I would (again) like to thank Mei Queen for helping me with the earlier chapters, because without her help, you cannot imagine how revolting they would have been. As you may have noticed, it now has a title: Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story._

**Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy**

_Chapter 5 – Revelations_

**Previously:**

_Lily's voice whispered in his ear, her breath tickling the back off her neck. James burst out laughing as he broke his glare on Malfoy's' eyes to notice his hair. When prompted by Professor McGonagall, the Slytherins stalked out the door unscathed. James was still chuckling as he collapsed onto the sofa in the Gryffindor common room._

_He hadn't realised pumpkin juice stained_

* * *

Sirius was howling with laughter, rolling around on the floor of the common room, overcome with sensations of mirth wracking his body. James tried unsuccessfully to stifle his amusement, as the cuts on his face were still mending (thanks to Fawkes) and extreme emotional facial expressions still shot jabs o pain into his body. Peter was chortling quietly to himself (because James and Sirius were laughing) although he did not fully understand what had happened.

Remus had cracked a smile at Malfoy's inventive new use of pumpkin juice for hair dye and then disappeared to the library, no doubt, with a large, heavy book in his hands. The previous night had unsettled him and, although he knew his friends would eventually find him, he knew that, for the moment, they would be too preoccupied in the misfortunes of their nemesis to remember why he had had pumpkin juice thrown at him and why they had not been there to stop the crime he had committed.

Although Lily was still shaken, she felt that she had got revenge on her captors and, however sweet that revenge tasted, she felt that if she consumed any more, her good nature would get the better of her and she would start to feel guilty. Lily had learned that revenge was better dished out in small quantities every now and then. She would no doubt be serving some up on Malfoy's plate for the rest of his school days. This musing made her feel slightly better as she slipped silently out the common room while James was not Lily-watching as he so often had been recently.

Hardly guessing where her feet were leading her, she meandered down the corridors, finally halting her wandering at the tall doors of the library. She pushed open the right door and held it back after she went through so that it wouldn't slam behind her. This action concealed her from all the studious glares of swatting students when unthinking youths slammed the door, but it did not stop the iron hinges squeaking as she opened it. The new, young librarian, Madame Pince, looked up and smiled at Lily as she entered, then looked back at her papers with one quick, sad glance at a sandy haired boy sitting with his back to her hidden from public view behind the shelves, gazing out of the window. He had one pale hand propping up his cheek while the other held a book open, but his head was not turned towards the table.

"Remus?" Lily whispered. The boy jerked at the call of his name and Lily noticed scratches on his forearms and at the opening of his collar that she had not previously observed at breakfast. She elegantly sank into the chair opposite from him on the small, round table. The corners of his mouth turned up into a weary smile and his eyes drooped slightly again. "Remus," she said again, but this time, it was as though she was going to divulge something important to him, "is there anything you want to talk about?"

He looked at her, trying not to let shock or suspicion bordering on amazement show on his face. How could she know? She had never paid much attention to any of the Marauders, let alone their conversations unless she was rowing with James or studied with himself in their library corner. When they spoke together, he had never mentioned his "furry little problem" and talking with her about the illness of his family had made it easier to lie to everyone else about it. He felt that if Lily believed him, the story was good enough for anyone to hear. She had always listened sympathetically to him and gave him encouraging smiles.

This time, however, as he built up his simple tale of his unfortunate family, he thought he caught a flicker of impatience in her gaze, something he had never seen directed at him before. He had stacks of patience and being around him seemed to have a calming effect on most girls in his presence. He sighed tiredly and broke off in the middle of his sentence. It had been a long time that he had been spinning these tales, and she was unusually bright. He silently thanked her for giving him to tell her himself rather than have the truth forced out of him then and there like when the Marauders had smelled a rat.

Remus began again, this time with a different story. Lily did not say anything, but merely smiled gratefully at him and held her hand out, palm up on the table in an offer of comfort in their friendship. He placed his larger hand into hers and drew his cloak around him with his other hand. The glorious cloudless sky of yesterday had given way to a grey dreary horizon. Filled with unusual summer chills that whipped in outlined of smoky grey clouds stemming the rain threatening to fall.

"I was young. _Augamenti._" He conjured a half-filled glass of water and took a sip to soothe his fry, hoarse voice, placing the simple crystal in the center of the table so it would not be knocked over and lifting their precious books out of harm's way. Remus continued, "Approaching my year of turning double figures, I had been trusted to take my new book down to the park with me. All the family was round and I had been sociable with them for a couple of days and my mother felt I needed a treat. She packed a cold roast beef and mustard sandwich along with a salad and a rare slice chocolate cake and bottle of milk into a basket for me. She said that Grandpa would go along with me. I got on well with him; I used to laugh with him, he taught me my alphabet, chess and the ways of the world in our frequent times together." Lily tightened her grip on his hand, observing his use of the past tense. His Grandfather had never before been mentioned, let alone been included in his list of ailing relatives.

"We strolled along in companionable silence until we reached the foresty park about four roads down from my childhood home. I walked patiently next to him; waiting for each step he took while he good-naturedly tolerated the slow progress of his silver-tipped walking stick aided movement. Although it was late afternoon, I was still warm enough in only my jumper, my coat tucked protectively under his arm as we reached my clearing. As usual, the park was deserted and Grandpa pointed to the tree he taught me to climb, tapping a seat-shaped branch with the roughened end of his wooden stick.

"There boy, look." He wheezed to me, "That up there looks like a good perch, don't ya reckon?" He held my book for me while I scaled the tree effortlessly and he passed it back up to me, returning to sit on and old, rickety bench nearby. Those were the last words he ever said." Lily's breath hitched again, but again, her lips only parted slightly for her to breath and no sound emerged from them. As Remus gulped some more water.

I was absorbed in the ancient pages of ancient muggle fiction for a good half an hour; absent-mindedly swinging his can he had left hooked upon the branch I was sitting on between my legs. The sound of a snarl broke my reverie and I looked around me. Amongst the now dark green leaves in the dim light, I glanced down to see a figure below me. I was squinting to see that much. It was hunched over, seeming to be wearing a fur cape with some kind of strangely shaped hood; the dreadful snuffling and snarling was coming from behind that hood." Remus paused for a moment to rub the bridge of his nose, then carried on in a monotonous, unemotional voice.

"The head turned, it had caught sigh of the cane. It suddenly brought his eyes upward to reveal that what I thought was a hood to be a snout and ears and what I had seen to be a cape, real fur skin with a tufted tail. I looked into those gleaming eyes of the werewolf, and, without any sign of warning, he pounced, crunching his powerful jaws into the flesh of my leg. I hurtled to the ground, grabbing the cane, the force of my fall wrenching me from his mouth. I shoved the book in his face and watching get torn to threads as I yelled, my loud voice echoing back to me. I had time to see lights flicker on in houses before I turned back to duel with the werewolf.

"The duel, I can now only see as a blur, however, I vividly remember how he howled when I thrust the silver end of the stick into his bleeding mouth before the flickering light of many torches flamed around me. The wolf retreated into the forest-like trees that backed onto the surrounding countryside. The few men who had come and aided me paused where they were, each holding out what I now know to be wands, but looked like twigs then. I turned to Grandpa, the light flickering now on a shiny liquid seeping onto his collar. I looked more closely at the gap between his still, cold, ashen face and his old, bony shoulder to see tears and teeth marks. I looked at his lap to see my coat still clutched on top of the empty meal basket in his lap.

"I began to cry, hot, painful tears as I stared around me at the wooden twigs clutched in their hands and their sorrowful faces. I heard my mother's soft scream as she arrived. She held me close, cradling me against her breast. I don't remember any more until a week later; I passed out from my own blood loss."

Lily's free hand was now clutched to her mouth, her own tears leaking out of her sparkling eyes to dribble down her now pale cheeks. Remus hung his head as Lily walked around to sit in his lap, holding him and shushing him, his own tears soaking her top. When Madame Pince came round to switch the lights off that evening after telling the Marauders the pair were not in the library at lunch, that was how she found them.

**_So, I hope that was ok… No, do not worry, Lily and Remus are just friends._**

_**Reviews would be appreciated x x x**_


	6. Moving On

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy**

_Chapter 6 – Moving On_

**Previously:**

Lily's free hand was now clutched to her mouth, her own tears leaking out of her sparkling eyes to dribble down her now pale cheeks. Remus hung his head as Lily walked around to sit in his lap, holding him and shushing him, his own tears soaking her top. When Madame Pince came round to switch the lights off that evening after telling the Marauders the pair were not in the library at lunch, that was how she found them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Remus emerged at the top of the stairs leading to the boys' dormitory the next morning with his face the colour of snow clouds and his disposition no warmer. He glared sourly at the three grinning Marauders below him; they were being far too cheerful and noisy. His mind paused for a second; it was a Tuesday morning, why were they happy – they had double potions first thing! Then, he realised there was only two more real days of the school term left. Hence, there was no time to set any homework. His spirits dropped.

"Remus, I'm going to breakfast, are you coming?" Lily paused on her way out of the portrait hole, gesturing to her friends that she would meet them later. Remus sighed and smiled with a wave at Lily. There was no point in sulking when she had been so lovely to him yesterday. He made his way down the too long staircase and headed towards Lily.

Seeing this, James sprang to his feet and strode across the common room. He was angry with Malfoy for what he did to Lily, but this was cancelled out by the fact that Malfoy was missing the end of term. So, all in all, it was a pretty cheerful day, with a pretty cheerful girl going by the name of Lily Evans in front of him. Plans forming through his mind again, he, Sirius and Peter followed Remus and Lily into the Great Hall for breakfast.

They took their seats three on one side of the table, two on the other. Lily was sandwiched between Remus and Sirius facing James and Peter. Her mind debated on what she was going to say. She knew that she had to let the others know what Remus had told her, but didn't quite know how to say it. Steeling her nerves together, she took a stab at it, "So, Remus," she began, "how are your wounds?" There was a clatter of James' knife falling on the floor, a squeak of Peter coughing and spluttering his pumpkin juice and an exclamation of pain from Sirius. All through this, Remus and Lily were looking calm and collected. The former was just about to open his mouth to say that he was feeling a bit better than yesterday, thankyou, when Sirius yelped when drawing his hand back from his tongue with specks of blood on it.

Lily glanced disapprovingly at it and then commented, "You know, Sirius, there are alternate sources of iron other than resorting to cannibalism." She pushed a dish of apricots at him and then turned to Remus again, "Remus?"

Remus reached behind her and took an apricot. "I'm feeling a bit better than yesterday, thankyou Lily for asking," he glared again at his fellow Marauders, "however," he added with a smile, "my iron stocks may need replenishing." Lily returned the smile and her gaze fell on James' previously gashed face.

"James?" She turned the question to him. James' stared at her, smiling, just sitting opposite from him, her lips moistened from the juice of her own apricot she was munching. How amazing it would be to wake up, knowing that every morning, he would have this visage of perfection to look forward to. He didn't mean it, honestly, he was thinking over her question, but the words slipped out his mouth before he could stop them.

"So, Lily, fancy going on a date?" She stared at him, a flicker of surprise and then boredom, turning into a why-didn't-I-guess look. But the look was tinged with a slight hurt. This time, she didn't just say "no", she told James what was going through her mind.

"No, I don't, James. I thought after…_that_… you might have changed, might have actually grown up. But now I can see that you will never change… and…" Lily couldn't go on. A whole whirlpool of emotions spun inside her, why was she upset that James had not changed? She didn't actually wan to spend time with him, did she? She did never desire to be all of the Marauders' friends, did she? Another thing that Lily did not want to do was explore those thoughts further. She stood up and picked her bag up from behind her, "I'll see you in Potions, Remus."

Remus vocalised an, "All right, then." to Lily's retreating back before turning to look astoundedly at a dumbstruck James and an amused Sirius. As you may have guessed, Peter tried to copy all three of these emotions and, as predicted his facial expression looked rather…odd to say the least. I am sure a _colourful_ description would not hold a candle to the image before the eyes of the castle.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Sixth Year Potions class assembled together outside the classroom half an hour later, politely waiting for Professor Slughorn to open the door and invite them into what promised to be a rare fun-filled lesson. It was common knowledge that the night before was his rowdy cousin's birthday and that this morning, Madame Pomfrey's hangover cure stock would be taking a bashing.

"Quiet please." A hushed normally booming voice asked the gathered students before him. Professor Slughorn waddled towards them with his slight paunch for a younger man. He flicked his wand with a flourish and the door swung open. The class filed in and took their familiar seats. As he was making his way to the front of the room, Lily caught his attention and engaged him in a muttered conversation. His eyebrows rose in curiosity and his tired face lit up in anticipation. With a furtive glance at the unsuspecting Remus Lupin, he addressed his class again. "Miss Evans has just raised a question, I shall return soon, but in my absence please read page seven hundred and thirty-two." Lily followed the Potions master out of the room while the students shot each other confused looks.

Some of the more rule-abiding students even half-heartedly took their books out of their bags before the first paper aeroplane struck James Potter squarely in his muscular chest. The culprit undoubtedly had been Sirius; he could not let that pass without retaliation now, could he?

**Ten minutes later, there was no sign of returning footsteps…**

Remus dragged his chair in a corner with a book determinedly held in front of his nose trying to fill his ears with thoughts of classical piano concertos whilst everyone else wreaked havoc.

**Twenty minutes after that, the brain boxes were still not in sight…**

Drum beats blasted out fast and loud over the echoing dungeon out of a conjured version of the Wizarding Wireless Network. This of course was accompanied with various dances. Of course it was very hot and not only jumpers were removed.

**Half an hour more, and no more in memory either…**

Remus conjured a silence wall around him and his book, trying to concentrate on the history of Rowena Ravenclaw. Needless to say he wasn't succeeding. He coloured his shield in and tried to ignore the thought of Sirius pulling faces on the other side. Healso entertained the idea ofgoing to sit in the library, but then dismissed that rebellious idea; he couldn't leave the classroom without the permission of the teacher!

**An hour passed and all traces of Potions had been forgotten…**

The sound of the bell proclaiming the end of potion rang with a throbbing tone as if pleading someone to hear it. Remus bolted out of the classroom thankful for the first time in his life that a lesson had ended.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

By Thursday evening, he had spent the passed days unable to figure out what in Merlin's name had gone on that day. Since then, despite prodding and teasing from Sirius, James had not uttered Lily's name. And said girl had spent the last day and a half away from him and his friends. As much as he mourned the loss of her company, it gave him time to think. Was it him she was deserting? Should he not have told her? A part of him thought that this possibility was ridiculous and wondered why he was even considering it.

He looked over at her sitting in the shade of a tree completely ignoring the presence of everyone else around her trying to gather up the remaining dribbles of sun. She felt herself being watched and met his eyes with a small smile. No, she definitely was not angered with him.

Maybe her feelings had changed towards James? After all these years, maybe she was feeling sorry that after tomorrow, the next time she saw him, she would be spending her last year together with James. Maybe she regretted all the time she had wasted. She looked up again and scowled at the offender in question mucking about tearing across the grass like a child.

Maybe not.

**_I'm sorry it is a bit shorter than usual, but next chapter will be up to full length._**

**_Reviews would be appreciated x x x_**

**_Love,_**

**_x Imperial Princess x_**


	7. Curses

**Disclaimer:**

**Roses are red,**

**Violets are blue,**

**I don't own it,**

**And neither do you.**

**Guys beware – girly subject approaching. . .**

**Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy**

Chapter 7 – Curses

**Previously:**

Maybe her feelings had changed towards James? After all these years, maybe she was feeling sorry that after tomorrow, the next time she saw him, she would be spending her last year together with James. Maybe she regretted all the time she had wasted. She looked up again and scowled at the offender in question mucking about tearing across the grass like a child.

Maybe not.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

_Well, Lily,_ she thought to herself as she repeatedly tugged a comb through her flame like curls that danced in the refreshing breeze from the tilted dormitory window. This _is the last day. This time next year when you go home on that train, it will be forever._ Her brushing halted for a moment as she considered that thought. She was almost on the verge of letting herself consider the near despairing feeling she felt, when her automatic response kicked in:_ - she only had to put up with James for one more year!_ At this realization, Lily wondered why the negative emotion refused to go away, quite in fact acting in the opposite direction and intensified. However, these dangerous musings were much too much of a liability for so early in the morning. Yes, that was it; she would just change the subject.

As she reached this conscious decision by herself, a deep, cutting physical pain replaced the previous one as she realized that Mother Nature had reached that very same decision for her. It had, however, the desired effect and all thoughts of James flew from her mind. She placed her hand just under the waistband of her jeans and pressed, hoping the warm pressure would alleviate some of the pain. Lily turned to her already packed trunk and realized that her "make-up bag" was at the bottom.

Opening the lid a bit harder than she meant to, it hit the end of her bed with a thud. She started taking out her neatly folded robes, the idea of summoning not forming in her mind. She felt another trickle of blood and frantically clawed in her trunk before her white jeans were ruined. _Breathe, Lily, breathe._ She undid the fastenings and slid her jeans down just in time before the first wrack of tears shook her body. Kneeling back down and sitting on her heels, she covered her face in her hands and she tried desperately to stop crying. _Oh, this is ridiculous! I've been crying practically every other day!_ The sensible part of her now understood why she had been crying so often, but Lily did not feel inclined to listen to reason.

She felt a soothing hand on her back as she looked up into the bright blue eyes of Holly. They had been friends ever since they found out each other's names after being teased about them together. With her prickly disposition matching the leaves of the bush she was named after, Holly's temper was as red as its berries. Lily felt a tug at the emerald green top she was wearing and obediently lifted her arms as Holly slipped it off her shaking body. Now noticing the situation her best friend was in quicker than a stereotype might have suggested after a glance at her long blonde hair, Holly helped Lily to her feet and walked her towards the bathroom. She turned on the warm jets of water shooting from the shower and turned to find Lily's towel as the girl stepped into the gloriously cleansing crystal liquid.

The clear door now fully steamed up, Lily rubbed a spot clear as Holly returned to sit on the floor facing her leaning her head back against the wall with Lily's towel, jeans, top, bra and new knickers in her lap. She sat there with a smile on her face until she burst out laughing.

"What?" Lily, demanded, perplexed that Holly could find a moment like this amusing. What are friends for, eh?

"I can't believe it's taken so long for you to realize!" She collapsed into laughter again, not even stilled by the look being directed at her.

"Realize what?" Lily was not going to give in without a fight. She had been fighting this for years now and wasn't about to let up now.

"That you like him." Holly replied simply, not wanting to cloud the direct subject with frills, lace or complications.

"I do _not _fancy James Potter!" Lily retorted hotly, her cheeks now glowing not just because of the heat pouring over her.

"Who said anything about James Potter?" The smile now crept round to hook behind Holly's petite ears, Lily now feeling like she'd been had. _Oh, dear, this was going to be a looong train journey._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

James and Sirius pushed and shoved their way aboard the Hogwarts express, managing to scare a few first years into letting them by. However menacing the dark glares James was sharing with his fellow mischief makers, they still wanted to share a compartment with him. Remus knocked Sirius aside and into their usual seats before he could invite whatever girl of the week into the compartment with him. He knew that the only chance of getting James to spill what had been troubling him for days was if they were on their own.

They sat in silence for a few seconds as the rest of the train filled up. Well, when I say silence, I am forgetting the raucous shouts of the rest of the school and Sirius' commentary and whinges as he kneeled up in his seat to watch the show of girls walking passed the locked glass door.

Peter stared avidly at James and Remus as they locked gazes as if he was following a tennis match trying to concentrate on the intensity of their facial expressions. James broke first.

"Where did you go that day?" He had noticed that one of his best friends had been spending more time than usual with the girl who, as James knew Remus was well aware of, had captured his heart. The fact that James already knew the answer did not contribute to his want for Remus to contradict him.

"The library," Remus replied honestly. At a look from James he carried on, "I didn't want to be sociable." This, at least, was partly true; Lily _had_ been made to look for him.

"With Lily?" The noise had quieted now and there was a rumble beneath them as they felt the train start to move. This only enhanced the chill of James' harsh, suspicious tone and cool gaze.

"Yes, James, with Lily. I eventually couldn't hide my "furry little problem" from her any longer. I don't like lying to people like that." Remus etched a warm grin onto his tired face and hoped the use of James' phrase would melt the daggers tipped with ice he was being stabbed with.

"How come we couldn't find you?" James' frown deepened and his eyes narrowed even further. The hurt expression being returned from Remus suddenly didn't matter to him. Something was wrong, and he didn't know what it was.

Before Remus could answer there was a shuffle from outside and a hushed, "Just ask him!" and Lily slid the door open with a small knock. A sexy smile tugged at a corner of James' mouth and he looked up at Lily with a raised eyebrow, assuming that it was him she had come to see. This assumption, however, was cast deep into the dirt as Lily opened those luscious lips of hers to vocalise the request,

"Remus, may I have a word?" With a quick, nervous smile, Remus stood up and walked out behind Lily, not daring to turn to find the murderous look on his best friend's face. James stalked out in the opposite direction, presumably heading towards the men's, when before he could slam the door shut, Holly appeared in front of them and stood aside to let him pass before inviting herself in.

Sirius gaped at her, but then switched his mind onto conjuring the best line he could imagine. His imaginings were put on hold, when the beautiful girl before him opened her mouth,

"Don't even think about it. I'm only here so that Lily can talk to Remus – she says it doesn't concern me and she doesn't say that about a lot of things. Usually my business is her business and her business is my business, but not this time, so don't even let the inkling of grilling the bookworm when he gets back, if it is possible that one drip of a thought could reach your desert-mind." That shut Sirius up sufficiently.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Am I about to hear what went on in that Potions class you so gracefully deserted me in?" Remus asked pleasantly as he held the door to Lily's compartment open for her before stepping in himself and seating himself beside her, closing off the possibility of eavesdroppers.

"Yes," she answered, tucking a stray wave of hair behind her ear. "Well, you know I've been doing extra Potions study this year," she began, fiddling with the hem of her top, "I, um, asked Professor Slughorn if he would teach me something next year." Remus put a hand on top of hers to stop her fidgeting and forced her to look at him, his kind, intelligent eyes sensing the direction she was heading in. Lily was a very accomplished Potions maker. "And, um, well, I wanted to learn how to make the Wolfsbane Potion." She gushed out all at once as if saying it quickly would reduce the impact of what she had just said.

Without words, Remus instantly crushed her to him with all the strength he had recovered from the past few days. He had to lean over slightly to do this and his face buried in the hair draped across her shoulders, his face turned down into her body.

"Fucking hell, Moony." A pair of watching hazel eyes disappeared from view.

**Ok, so maybe it's not that long, but the events make up for the length... ooooh…**

**Seeing as 17 people have put this on their alert list, shouldn't I be getting 17 reviews for each chapter? feels unloved and unappreciated x x x**

**Love,**

**x Imperial Princess x**


	8. Summer, Part I – Lily

**Disclaimer: Unless there's a massive secret the world is not telling me, I am not the creator of Harry Potter and his world.**

**Thank you very much for all the reviews you gave me – it's lovely to know that my efforts have not gone unappreciated, but Lexi – you're not off the hook! I expect a very long review from you in apology for missing so much! Hehehe (aren't I nice) . . . Anyway . . .**

**Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy**

_Chapter 8 – Summer, Part I – Lily_

**Previously:**

_Remus put a hand on top of hers to stop her fidgeting and forced her to look at him, his kind, intelligent eyes sensing the direction she was heading in. Lily was a very accomplished Potions maker. "And, um, well, I wanted to learn how to make the Wolfsbane Potion." She gushed out all at once as if saying it quickly would reduce the impact of what she had just said._

_Without words, Remus instantly crushed her to him with all the strength he had recovered from the past few days. He had to lean over slightly to do this and his face buried in the hair draped across her shoulders, his face turned down into her body._

"_Fucking hell, Moony." A pair of watching hazel eyes disappeared from view._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Of course I'm sure I'm sure! This is James Potter, after all!" Lily cried, waving her free hand in the air frustratedly, throwing herself down onto her bed, holding the other hand to her ear. Even down the phone, she could almost see Holly rolling her eyes. Being a muggle-born just like herself, this presented the convenient opportunity for muggle communication.

"Right, that's it young lady," came the demanding reply, "get your derrière round here right this minute! I don't care what Petty is doing with the Pig tonight – actually I don't want to know that- ew, ew, ew, mental images! Mental-images-mental-images-mental-images!" There was a beep and Lily knew that Holly had hung up. She was now presented with the dilemma of how to wriggle out of the evening activities. On the one hand, she knew that her mother was an unlikely option for letting her skip away from a weekend with Petunia-and-Vernon Scott free, but just leaving a note would seem a cowardly option. An evil gleam that the Marauders would have been proud of sparkled in her eyes as a light bulb lit up in her mind. She knew exactly what to do.

Grabbing everything she might need and couldn't borrow off Holly for a few days in a large but closely unsuspicious hand bag, Lily lightly stepped down the stairs and silently crept before the man hiding behind a newspaper in his living room. "Daaddyyy," she began in a wheedling tone, "please may you let your fabulous daughter who loves you very much and thinks that you're the best dad in the world," here she took a big breath in which her father peered over his newspaper at her, folding it in half to see what she was up to and cut in with a smile,

"I'm your only dad in the world, but thank you - carry on, what do you want?" He now had one eyebrow raised as he looked at her quizzically.

"Let me possibly spill my troubled teenage heart out to my best friend instead of being forced to reign in my salty tears at the dinner table whilst obediently without a question or huffiness enjoy my dearest sister's boyfriend's charming table manners?" Lily threw him the most appealing look she could and coupled it together with standing straight, not slouched as he liked her to and holding her hands behind her back like his little girl she once was. She conveniently forgot to mention her planned duration of her absence.

As if the weight of the world was pushing down on his shoulders, he sighed heavily and responded, "Okay then, Petal off you go, then." She beamed at him and gave him a huge hug and a kiss. He added as an afterthought, "Will your sister mind?" Lily was already out the living room door when she shouted back,

"No!" she had a hard time trying not to laugh.

"Have you asked her?" Her father enquired doubtfully. He was answered by the slam of the front door closing. As if knowing that he had possibly done a very bad that that he would most likely be in trouble for when his wife and daughter returned from their shopping expedition, he sighed again, then reopened his newspaper and continued to read.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Now cloistered comfortably in Holly's spacious room on her princess-like bed, the girls carried on with their conversation,

"So, how do you know he saw you two? Just because James didn't say goodbye to you when you got off the platform, doesn't mean he saw you. He probably didn't see you – don't forget there are other redheads in the school apart from you and it was pretty crowded. Plus I told Mr Ego not to grill the bookworm when he got back and if you're just friends as you say you are then he wouldn't have been feeling guilty so therefore would not have felt compelled to admit anything because there was nothing to admit!" Holly finished proudly, pleased with the goldfish effect her little speech had on Lily.

"Well, he's made a special point of seeking me out to say goodbye at the end of the year," Lily moaned, "and he didn't this year. And I'm sure I felt someone watching us." She slapped at Holly's hands that were making "scary" "wooo" actions to accompany the noises.

"Meh, you're just paranoid because you've realised that you like him and you regret all the time you've spent deliberately going out of your way to throw mean comments at him or inconvenience him. You also thought that perhaps when he kissed your hand goodbye this time you would smile at him and when he asked you out you had your answer already formed on your lips to say, "maybe next year" or something to that effect." The goldfish had suddenly grown and was asking for more food, "Don't look at me like that, Lils, I know it's true – I know you well."

Lily physically lifted the lower part of her jaw back to its normal position and glowered at Holly, grumbling, "Too well. Anyway, what am I going to doooo?" She launched at her, tackling the blonde's elegant poise and landing them both on the floor with a large _thump_.

Picking herself up into a sitting position leaning against the step to her bed, Holly reasoned, "With a wail like that you could win a moaning competition with Myrtle even if I tied a gag over your mouth." At this, Lily looked shocked for the Nth time today before they collapsed into fits of laughter. The unhappy mood vanished and they sat there laughing about worst case scenarios that could possibly befall Lily and her quest for redemption. It was clear that she would have to make herself apologise to him if she ever wanted a chance with him. For the next hour she and Holly talked about guess who – James Potter. That is Lily talked and Holly listened making "oohs" and "aahs" in all the right places like a best friend should.

"He's such a jerk sometimes, like right when you don't need him to be, actually he's a jerk most of the time, but then when I get upset there's this little flicker across his face. I don't it's supposed to mean – it's like he's angry that I'm upset or with what made me upset. Oh my gosh, I will never complain about him being late because of quidditch again!" Lily declared.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Holly warned, but the redhead brushed it aside, ignoring her and continuing.

"You would seriously not believe it – he must have worked really hard on that pitch – his body, Hols!" And that was where the blonde switched off. This was totally a new Lily to the one she recalled so vehemently spitting out insults about James Potter. He had clearly addled her brain; whether it was for good or for worse, she couldn't tell. Lily-in-love was going to take a bit of getting used to.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Shall I serve you, Vernon?" Petunia simpered as she dished out generous helpings onto his plate. The large young man sat back and allowed her to serve him while muttering his thanks and "Not to skimp on the meat" in a low voice with a self satisfied smirk on his face.

"So where has Lily gone?" Mrs Evans asked her husband again, as he had evaded the question very well for about ten minutes now. This was an extraordinarily first-class performance for him, as when it came to his wife, usually the poor man was helpless.

"She erm, said something about going to Holly's." He mumbled, not looking directly at her knowing that he was going to be paying for his actions later.

"And did she say anything else?" When he shook his head, she continued, "Oh, that girl! I'm awfully sorry, you two." She spared a brief glance to Petunia and Vernon playing happy families before turning back to glare at the head of the household, "I've told her time and time again-" Mr Evans thought it best to cut off her tirade before she really got worked up the only way he could think of,

"I heard her mentioning James Potter in a glowing light when she was on the phone." His wife stopped mid-word and she stared at him intently as if to check to see if he was lying.

"James Potter?" He nodded, his food halfway to his mouth, "The same James Potter that she's been ranting about since first year?" Petunia looked pointedly away and continued to simper to Vernon while her father nodded again, managing to get his fork into his mouth so he would not be required to give an expressive answer. "Oh." It appeared his wife could not think of a flowing conclusion either.

Abruptly changing the subject while his wife thought over the information he had just presented her with, he turned to his guest, "So, Vernon, how's the boxing going?"

And so the evening went on. Lily was wise enough not to return home for a fair few days and Holly's mother was thankful for the company of another girl in her house full of boys while Mr and Mrs Evans speculated on what brought about such a dramatic progression of events.

_**Now all you need to do is press that tiny periwinkle button and type some words in the box – easy peasy lemon squeezy!**_

_**Love,**_

_**x Imperial Princess x**_


	9. Summer, Part II – Sirius

**Disclaimer: However much I might wish I did, I own nothing you recognize… (Can I sulk back in my corner now?)**

**Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy**

_Chapter 9 – Summer, Part II – Sirius_

**Previously:**

_And so the evening went on. Lily was wise enough not to return home for a fair few days and Holly's mother was thankful for the company of another girl in her house full of boys while Mr and Mrs Evans speculated on what brought about such a dramatic progression of events._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Dude, calm down!" Sirius lazily lobbed a pillow over at James while stuffing his face with French fries. This consumption, however did not bar him from talking, "She dufnowaefink that you don't lufferanymorbecuf it's blatantly obvious even to people like me hudonreeliavea clue."

"She doesn't want to think that I don't lust after her any more because it's blatantly obvious even to people like you who don re-lived a clue?" James looked at Sirius. Okay so, yes, normally he did tweak a few words a bit but this was a bit strange even for his deranged dog-like partner in crime.

"Even I got that one Prongs." Peter piped up from the floor, "Lily likes you and she realised that she loves you because she's just found out what it's like to lose you." Peter loved telling people what they wanted to hear – he wasn't particularly outstanding compared to his peers and this trait made him feel good. It made him feel even better when he said it, because this time he was indeed telling the truth.

"Really?" This was what James had wanted ever since he felt that first twinge in his heart; he couldn't believe this was happening.

"Yes, really." Sirius drawled in a slightly bored tone before continuing to scoff the chips again. Sirius was a pro at receiving "looks" from girls and it took the sneaky fox only one sniff to realise what had happened when he caught the bright sparkle in Lily's eyes die as James left without a glance for her.

No, this really was too much. James looked at the two marauders with him in turn and decided that although they were saying what he wanted to hear. He knew that Peter would tell anyone anything they wanted – the Marauders had been trying to break him of this habit but had not had much success. And Sirius – well, what did he know? He had a different girlfriend every week – yes, he was good at getting them, but not at keeping them. Neither of them were Remus – the clever one, the one they all trusted with no evidence whatsoever other than his own superior knowledge. The Marauder that had dominated him even in animagi form.

Why should Lily pick him over Remus? Remus was smart, sensible, neat, well spoken – the kind of boyfriend Lily's mother would have chosen for her daughter. James was – unruly, he didn't pay attention to class, he was messy, a show-off, he was as Lily had said, and arrogant toe-rag that cared about nothing but quidditch. Why didn't he listen to her?

James now realised that if he really loved Lily, seeing Lily happy should make him happy. If it was Remus that made her happy then so be it. James was now beginning to accept, after six years, that there were some things that were out of his control and Lily's love for him was one of them. He was right, but not in the way he thought he was. He knew that no matter what, his love for Lily was unconditional.

By misbehaving and being a jerk, he had been making her unhappy – quite the opposite of what he wanted. He could not make her happy in the way that he wanted to, so he decided that he would make her happy in the way that he thought she wanted him to.

James Potter walked out of his living room and headed towards his bedroom, preparing himself, for the first time in his life, to do his holiday homework.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

At the departure of James, Peter and Sirius looked after him, mystified as to what had just happened. Sirius himself was particularly perplexed,

"Didn't we just tell him that Lily loved him?" He stared at Peter, unable to fathom the reason for his friend's morose and abrupt exit.

"I thought that's what we told him." Peter did not understand any more than Sirius. He reached behind him and took out a chessboard, "maybe we should leave him alone for a bit?" he suggested.

Sirius scooted over and helped to assemble the pieces on the contrasting squares before him. He half-heartedly sighed, knowing that the game would not be as fun without receiving disapproving looks from Remus at their noise level or violence. "Do you think Lily is…" he left it dangling as he pushed his pawn forward. He loved defying his surname at every opportunity and smirked to himself if his mother could see him take the white side in a chess game.

"With Remus?" Peter finished for him, "No. I don't." He was not good at drawing clear conclusions about dense situations, but he was an apt observer. "Even Lily would be more subtle than to draw Remus away on the train for some time together. She found him in the library – both of them love their books and would not be so disrespectful to them by doing that sort of thing with books as their shelter. When they come back from the library, Lily knows about Remus's "condition". If he really loved her then he would not have been able to lie to her for so long about it.

"I don't think Lily loves Remus either," he continued, prodding an unwilling pawn to his next square, "When she came to tell us who she was going to the ball with, it was James that she checked for to see his reaction, not me, not you and not Remus. When James saw Lily dancing with The Snake, he got angry and protective, when Remus was told what had happened to Lily he offered his sympathies, but did not go after her torturers. James wanted to fight them, and would have probably struggled free of our restraints had he not have had his injuries from Remus as a werewolf. However childish throwing the juice in Lucius's face was, Lily fought herself in the only way she could at that time. She didn't want anyone fighting her battles for her.

"Remus doesn't like seeing her hurt but would never offer to fight for her as he knows she hates people doing that. James despises anyone who so much as upsets her and has to be stopped fighting. It may be that Lily telling him she doesn't want him to fight is her way of understanding his feelings for her. Remus never needs restraining and so Lily may interpret that as Remus does not feel the same for her as James does. Don't forget, James has loved Lily right from the word "go". Perhaps Lily is storing away James's reactions and labelling them as the reactions of the heart in love with her. James's reactions are individual. Although others may be in love with her, she will consider their feelings otherwise if they do not act in the same way as James.

"There is also Holly to consider." He cut across before Sirius could interrupt him as he decimated one of the pawns, "You said that she told you that what Lily was doing with Remus was none of her business." He paused to check this with Sirius who nodded while listening intently, "I know that Holly can't resist gossip. She doesn't pass it on, but she learns every scrap of it that she can. She has an almost sister-like bond with Lily. Girls talk, Padfoot; they share everything with each other. If Lily liked Remus there is no way that Holly wouldn't know about it." He finished, rather proud with himself.

Sirius did not halt their brutal game, but considered Peter's theory. Despite not being as attractive as the other Marauders and a bit overweight, the boy's mind was rather sharp. Sirius thought that he must have kept it hidden for a reason. It appeared that the rat-like boy could not keep up well with the Marauders, but now he had discovered that Peter's talents lay in a different level of academia to wand waving and potion brewing.

"So you mean we've just kicked Moony out for a bit for no reason whatsoever other than he could have been having study sessions with Lily and Lily might have possibly admitted to Remus that she likes James but told Remus not to tell him?"

Peter thought for a moment, "Pretty much, yeah."

"Any idea what the heck to do?" He raised an eyebrow hopefully.

"Nope." His hopes were dashed. He looked absently out of the window into the uncharacteristically cloudy and wet summer's day and saw that his hair was getting a bit tidy. He squinted at his reflection as he messed it up again and an idea formed in his mind,

"That's it!" He yelled, the chess pieces turning their heads to him excitedly. He glanced down at them, "No not you. Although you could take him if you like," he ordered his knight to swipe another of Peter's pawns, "The mirror – the detention mirror we dropped that Remus was fixing! He's got it with him!"

"Well who's got the other one, then?" Peter demanded a bit impatiently.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A violent tackle of the offending knight later, Peter followed Sirius up the narrow staircase to James's bedroom. Sirius flung open the bedroom door dramatically, expecting to see James sulking on his bed, but surprised, no, flabbergasted when he caught sight of James scribbling on some parchment with his charms textbook in front of him.

"Prongs, what are you doing?" he asked in the sort of despairing tone he would normally have reserved for Frank Longbottom in first year, watching him attempt to brew a potion.

"Homework, why?" he didn't even look up. Sirius felt like running out, slamming the door behind him and then pouncing on it again, as if convinced that this was some kind of trick.

"Why?" he was forced to resort to astonishment _as well_ as his previous state of being flabbergasted.

"Because it needs doing." He stated, flatly, all emotion gone in his voice, "Why?" he asked again.

Sirius could see that he was not going to get a satisfactory response and his friend was doomed forever to be trapped under the spell of this new attitude. Well, until the end of the holidays and Sirius could remind him what torturing the Slytherins did for the morale. "Can we, erm borrow the two-way mirror?" he asked slightly hesitantly.

James gestured inattentively over at his trunk contents scattered over his bedroom floor and returned to his writing. As Sirius searched for the treasure Peter swirled his hand around his ear mouthing, _Mad, he's gone mad, I tell you – mad!_

The two sane Marauders scampered back down the stairs and settled on the sofa. They swapped apprehensive looks before Sirius uttered, "Remus," into the reflective glass. They waited. A slitghly annoyed looking crop of sandy blonde hair came into view,

"What?" he snapped, absently glancing across his room. He searched his room again, looking for the source of his name and then his eye caught on the two faces staring at him from on top of one of his bookshelves. His face softened, "Oh, hey… Sirius…and…Peter." He said, somewhat awkwardly, "What's up?"

_**Cut to dramatic theme tune...**_

_**Oooh what a place to leave it! You'll just have to wait hehehe**_

**_No reviews? -sniff- -sniff-_**

_**Love,**_

_**x Imperial Princess x**_


	10. Summer, Part III – Remus

**Disclaimer: Oh, this again. No, no, you're right, I don't own Harry Potter – I wouldn't really want to own the boy himself, but I wouldn't say no to some of the other characters…**

**Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy**

_Chapter 10 – Summer, Part III – Remus_

**Previously:**

"_What?" he snapped, absently glancing across his room. He searched his room again, looking for the source of his name and then his eye caught on the two faces staring at him from on top of one of his bookshelves. His face softened, "Oh, hey… Sirius…and…Peter." He said, somewhat awkwardly, "What's up?"_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thoughts raced through Remus's mind as he struggled to comprehend why all of a sudden his friends were talking to him. Let alone at a time like this. Rain still spattered against a window, letting out all the cloud's sadness before they thought about disappearing, leaving the sky clear for tomorrow. He was brought back from his frantic scrabbling for understanding by their voices.

"Listen, mate, we're really sorry for doubting you and all –"Peter began with an earnest expression of apology on his rat-like face before Sirius untactfully interrupted him.

"But Prongs – he's gone mental! Something's up and we don't know what it is!" At their nickname for James, Remus's eyes narrowed. He had had enough of James strutting – _and yes, _Remus thought, _Severus was right, he **did** strut_ – around thinking he was all that, when really, Lily was right. James could be and was, most of the time, and egotistical prat. Part of him wanted to forgive his friends, after all, they hadn't really done much to him, but they didn't exactly stand up for him either. The other part thought that the Marauders were never going to learn a lesson if he just kept picking them up, forgiving them and correcting their wrongs for them, like he had been doing for the past six years. Ultimately, that lesson might even help James to win Lily's affections… Ever fond of doing the right thing, Remus responded,

"Look, I know you are, and we always knew James was mental, but this isn't the best of times to have a chat." He smirked inwardly to himself as he imagined the shock on their faces if they could see what he was up to now. Sirius and Peter's replies were cut off by a clear cut voice belonging to a girl of high social class,

"Remus, why on Earth are you talking to a mirror?" He spun around, placing the mirror on the window sill, leaning it against the glass so it faced the street. The girl did not check the mirror, obviously supposing it to have held Remus's reflection, but the others managed to glimpse the sight of a pale blonde standing in the doorway. Her hair was set in curls that just fell past her shoulders and she wore something that was made out of the same material as muggle jeans, but as a skirt, with a V neck black top with sleeves that flowed out at her wrists. Peter had the good sense to say nothing; Sirius could not have said something even if he tried. Their bookworm, their studious spoilsport had a veela look-alike in his room.

Remus smiled, "Oh, you know the old thing –"He put on an enchanting voice and half-whispered, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" He gently turned her round to face the full length mirror at the end of the long hallway. She laughed as she saw her reflection and tossed her hair,

"Oh I'm not the prettiest girl in England." She told him whist vainly staring at her reflection. It was as though her eyes were drawn to herself, no matter how hard she tried to look away. But, then again, used to having people do things for her, she did not try very hard.

Although Sirius and Peter could not see anything, their ears were pricked up as they strained to hear every unlikely word in this unbelievable situation. "Hmmm, well let's go and see who else might snatch that title away from you, shall we?" Remus pulled her away from the mirror and led her down the stairs.

Sirius and Peter were still staring dumbfounded into the mirror that only reflected the street. They heard a bang of the front door shutting and saw two figures running out into the rain, laughing. Remus had put his hand up to his forehead as though shading the sun from his eyes, dramatically searching for "The Prettiest Girl in England". The mirror had fallen out of Sirius's hands and was luckily caught by a sofa cushion,

"Did that just happen?" He blinked as thought trying to wake up, not really believing what he had just seen. Peter was just staring, open mouthed, unable to form words.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"So, did you two have fun today?" Mrs Lupin asked the "veela look-alike" sitting opposite her. Her voice was polite as if she was more interested in folding her napkin than the answer. Inwardly she was relieved that her only son was finally taking an interest in girls. It did not really matter that because of his…_condition_ he wouldn't be able to have what some others had, but as usual, he was doing exactly the right thing for himself. He had chosen someone that, once a month, he could send on a shopping trip or a country weekend without her suspecting a thing.

The girl graciously finished her petite mouthful before answering, "Oh yes, thank you, we had a splendid time, Mrs Lupin."

"Oh, please, darling, call me Amanda."

And so on it went, Remus being obliged to comment occasionally whilst his mother put on a well practised act engaging Caroline in talk for the rest of the evening. By the time he managed to collapse into bed that night, he lay on his back expecting to fall straight asleep after a tiring day. His eyes wanted to close, but they couldn't. Every time he tried to shut them, the image of his three best friends appeared before him.

One time, they were grinning and waving at him, Sirius patting the ground beside him, James trying to teach Peter how to catch the quaffle with Sirius's unhelpful commentary. He walked over to them and sprawled out next to Sirius under the direct path of the quaffle Peter and James were throwing. Peter caught it and the two spectators applauded, he threw it, but not far enough. Sirius rolled out of the way, and shoved at Remus to make him do the same. As he rolled back again and opened his eyes, Remus was back in his spacious bedroom. He stared around at his large desk, bookshelves, TV set with some DVDs piled next to it and finally looked into the empty black fireplace.

The fireplace was slowly shimmering, reflecting silver waves. Remus blinked and found himself facing the Black Lake. He looked down at himself and found himself dressed all in black, right to the tips of his polished shoes. He felt a hand clap on his shoulder and saw that Sirius was dressed exactly the same as him. He felt a sudden lurch in the bottom of his stomach, had one of the Marauders died? What if they had? He had never gotten to make it up with them. His fears were quieted when he saw Peter kneeling at the edge of the lake, his head in his hands, James beside him, holing his wand to a small, ornament sized ship. He set the ship into the water with its load wrapped. Remus rummaged around in the back of his mind as to what was on the ship. James set a jet of light at the sails and they caught alight. The ship suddenly rocked to one side with the force, but stayed upright. However, a slick dead weight fell over one side; it looked almost like a piece of sting. Then Remus remembered – Peter's beloved rat was dead. He would never forgive that young caretaker's boisterous cat. Remus watched as the flames sent the body to its next life.

The flames were flickering less, now. They were motionless, and brighter – almost white. Remus opened his eyes next to find himself staring at the moon, full and round. A cloud drifted across it, making it look more like an axe blade, and he immediately wished he hadn't opened his eyes. He could feel it happening again, he was changing; his blood blazed and rushed through him like fire. It was getting too hot to handle, he couldn't think straight, he could feel his body changing. He heard tearing, ripping, snarling. His breath was becoming laboured; his gasps for air sounded more like growling. Who was he? Why was he here? A scent infiltrated his powerful snout; a slightly metallic, calling scent; the scent of blood.

He raced through trees, following it, scampering faster and faster. As he got nearer, the scent changed; this was no ordinary blood. He found his prize, lying dead on the forest; the creature's body had collapsed, contorted in pain. The werewolf stalked the clearing, his powerful paws treading on sticks, making them snap like cracking whips in the silence. He moved closer and closer, avoiding the sharp horn and picked the silvery white body up from the floor by its neck. He dragged it over to a stump, pools of silver trailing after them. He couldn't wait any longer; his teeth sank into the flesh, cruelly ripping it apart and the unicorn's blood flowed from his brutal muzzle. An icy sensation crawled through the werewolf as he lapped the blood greedily. A clattering behind him and he whipped around, still with the limp corpse dangling from his mouth. It fell to the floor with a thump as yet another bright light scorched through his eyes.

"Remus, Remus!" He jumped back with a start, feeling around him, checking this was not another vision, but was actually real. His lights were on and his mother was shaking him awake, worrying etched into her face. "Remus, you were yelling, what's wrong?" All her pretences of the evening had vanished and he was grateful to have his own mother back again. He smiled wearily at her, she was constantly worrying about him; about his situation, his work, his books, his social life – he felt it would be a bit pathetic to be spilling his bad dreams to her now that he was going to be starting seventh year soon.

"Oh it was just another, um transformation _thing_, I'll be fine." That, at least, was part true. She knew he didn't like to talk about his "furry little problem".

A few minutes later, her muffled footsteps were pattering down the hall and Remus sighed to himself as he lay back among his pillows. He was debating with himself intensely. If what he was about to do got back to the Marauders, they'd definitely think that Caroline was a ruse, but then again, how could he have made it so that Sirius and Peter saw her then? He couldn't; he doubted they'd believe him though. He doubted they would have believed him about Caroline at all if they hadn't have seen her. Yet, he felt that he could trust Lily to be discreet; after all, if she hadn't even told Holly about her "little extracurricular project" as she so termed it, she could keep things to herself without the Marauders knowing what was up exactly.

But, he argued, they knew that something was going on. What's more, they got it wrong and thought that something else was going on. What would happen if that occurred again? Wild thoughts crossed his mind of the Marauders sending him hate mail through muggle post. What if Caroline read them? She'd hate him! Besides, it was Lily that Remus was thinking of introducing Caroline to first. That way, Caroline would feel part of his life and Lily wouldn't be asking her odd things about muggles. Then again, Caroline might find it odd that Remus hadn't introduced her to any male friends and then think –

Remus let out a frustrated growl. He was just confusing himself further. Why confuse himself about things he didn't need to when he could be unravelling his vision like dreams? Okay, so he knew divination wasn't Lily's best subject, but she knew more about it than he did. Come to think about it, she knew a lot that he wanted to know about; girls, friends, balancing the two out, his transformations. His first argument was winning out. Logic only had a small amount of time to convince him otherwise…

That time had just run out. Remus kicked off his duvet and grabbed his wand. He pointed it at his fireplace and flames shot up. He winced slightly at the brightness and link to his disturbing scares but carried on regardless. He sent a silencing charm at the door to soundproof his room and then turned towards the flames. His next spell set the flames momentarily purple; he waited until they had returned to the flickers of orange and red before sending another cautious look at the door.

He crouched down next to the flames and whispered despairingly into them,

"Lily?"

_**I thought you deserved an update, so here we are. Tell me what you think? Please?**_

_**Love,**_

_**x Imperial Princess x**_


	11. Summer, Part IV – Holly

**Disclaimer: Do you really think that If I was JK Rowling and owned Harry Potter that I'd be writing on fanfiction? No, I thought not.**

**Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy**

_I know it's been long since I updated and I'm sorry. I was ironing out confusions and it occurred to me that some others might want to have their confusions ironed as well, so you don't have to read, "The Story So Far", but you can if you want to, and there is actually a chapter…_

_The Story So Far…_

**Chapter 1** - We learn there is a dance (with posh frocks and the like) and that the Marauders don't plan on attending because none of them have dates (aww), so they are going to try out their new animagi forms with Remus transformed.

**Chapter 2** - The dance. Lily drops in on her way to Lucuis to make James jealous; Lucius won't tell her why he asked her to the dance. The boys know something is up but can't figure out what, Dumbledore comes in and guesses what they're up to that night. They go off to the whomping willow and all transform. In animagi form, Sirius dominates Remus in werewolf form, but Remus dominates James (oh no!). James goes back to the oh-so-romantic gardens put up outside the castle and finds Lily in distress.

**Chapter 3** - We find out what happened to Lily, and so does Dumbledore and McGonagall (James tells the Marauders). Lucius and his evil supporters (mwhahaha) take Lily back to the Slytherin Common Room and give her a drink that will paralyse her body. Lucuis reads one of Lily's old diary entries; she falls and cuts her leg in a Birthday game, but the point is that the mud mixes with the blood - get it "mudblood".

**Chapter 4** - Breakfast. The Slytherins vs. Lily – Lily throws pumpkin juice in Lucius's face – not quite as good as castration, I know, but it will have to do for now. Then the Slytherins get hauled off to McGonagalls/ Dumbledore's office, take your pick.

**Chapter 5** – We find out more about Remus. The rest of the Marauders are sitting there laughing about Malfoy and co (hahaha) and Lily goes off to find Remus in the library. He finally tells her about his "furry little problem". Hints that they are more than friends.

**Chapter 6** – Breakfast (again). The Marauders find out Remus told Lily about his "furry little problem". Potions class – hints that Lily is up to something. Last little bit – Remus is thinking maybe Lily is changing her mind about James now he's being nice and all.

**Chapter 7** – We meet Holly. Lily puts things down to that time of the month, and Holly tricks Lily into practically admitting that she fancies James (at last). On the train journey it's James vs. Remus and it looks like James is winning, but Remus's cheerleaders step up their routine and take him off court (couldn't resist). Back on the pitch James takes a break whilst Holly lets Sirius know 1) She doesn't have the foggiest about what's going on and 2) She's not interested. Sadness. Lily takes Remus away to divulge what she's been up to in Potions… learning about brewing the Wolfsbane Potion (that one that Snape makes for him in PoA? Remember?)Remus hugs her in thanks and guess who spots them? Oh yes, Mr Prongs indeed…

**Chapter 8** – Part I of the 6 weeks Summer Holidays… and there are six characters! Fancy that! Anyway, my own clever ideas aside "ahem", Lily gets out of dinner with Petunia and Vernon by staying at Holly's for a few days. Her father, however, tells her mother (bad move, Mr Evans) that Lily's opinion of James is rising. Meanwhile, Lily-in-love spills her heart to her best friend (cue: awww).

**Chapter 9** – Part II of the summer. This time we're with Sirius, who, with the help of Peter, is trying to convince James that Lily has realised she loves him. James however, is convinced that Lily loves Remus, yet wants to make her happy (sigh)… by doing his holiday homework. So Sirius and Peter are left to a game of chess in which Peter displays his unfoggying dense situation skills, to Sirius's great surprise. The boys realise that Remus and Lily are in fact NOT in love (gasp) and that they've treated him all wrong. Wanting to make it up to him, the boys hatch a plan needing the two-way mirror, but in Stage One: Acquiring said Mirror, to their shock and great disgust, they walk in on…James doing his holiday homework! Quickly, they scamper away to chat with their woeful werewolf and discover…

**Chapter 10** – Part III of the summer. And discover… that he is not, in fact, as woeful as they wondered! He has a rather attractive veela look-alike in his sticky paws. Remus, meanwhile is thinking that the boys need a lesson, and shows them that he is not a pocket-size dictionary/ guide book/ self help book…He is, as a matter of fact, life size. So whilst our babbling, bumbling band of baboons are baffled, Remus is needing his own pocket-size dictionary/ guide book/ self help book… so who does he turn to? Oh yes, our lovely fair maiden Lily Evans. Dun dun dun.

_Chapter 11 – Summer, Part IV – Holly_

_By the way, I'm making Remus come from a really posh background – yes I know in the books he's poor, but you'll just have to cope._

_I haven't read through this because I wanted to get it posted before I have to go to End of Term Service. Lucky me, fun, fun, fun. Not._

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"And then, she's like James, you're so cute, and he's like, I LOVE LILY!" Holly sighed and leaned backwards over her bed with her hair dangling down.

"I don't think he actually said it in those words, Lils." Holly cackled. Her observation was met with a scowl, the full effect of which was still able to be received in the half light of the dying embers when one was upside down.

"Well, not exactly, but –"

"Lily?" the girls jumped as Remus' head appeared in the fire. Holly sat up to switch her bedside light on and the girls winced slightly as the room was bathed in a soft glow. "Two for the price of one, excellent. I had hoped you were both here. I checked your house first, though Lily – promise." Remus plunged in at the deep end, "Hey Holly; girls, I've got problems."

"Clearly." Holly's brow arched. He chuckled and then carried on,

"I've been seeing things." Holly snorted – this was going from bad to worse… or should she think from funny to hilarious. Lily, however, was on the ball as usual, ready and raring to go with a reliable reply…

"Oh dear." Holly blinked; surely that didn't just happen. Where were the helpful solutions? The alternatives? The long winded explanations! Oh the explanations! Meanwhile, the same thoughts seem to have been whirring through Remus' mind – minus the dramatics.

"Oh dear?" he repeated, as though sure he had not quite heard it right. His brow was slightly furrowed as if attempting to do question 42 of a 50 question History of Magic quiz.

"Hmm." Was Lily's intellectual solution. The alternatives were, "Are you sure they're not just dreams or daydreams?" and "Maybe you'd better explain a bit more?" and then of course there was the long winded explanation which was, "Because I don't understand." Holly amused herself with these little illogical musings.

Remus was a bout to comply, when he saw Holly slide to the floor so as to sit next to Lily. He addressed her,

"Holly, I'd appreciate your help too – I've got people problems." It was clearly late at night after a very stressful day. Remus shook his head, knowing from the smirk on Holly's face that she understood what he meant to say, "Anyway, about these visions." He broke off, laughing to himself.

The girls sat patiently (Lily) and not-so-patiently (Holly) throughout Remus' fun filled hallucinations, trying to make sense of it all. After a brief silence Lily began again, a little more logically than before.

"Well, maybe it's just the stress of everything." She suggested. The she sat up as though ideas had just hit her, "Or it could be this thing between you and the Marauders, maybe James' whining/ Peters' persisting/ Sirius' irritating _finally_ got to you! Then she got a _look _about her. She glanced once at Holly and turned to Remus with a "serious" look on your face. "Remus, are you having girlfriend problems?" Holly burst into laughter, and then hastily covered her mouth.

Silence.

"Well, now that you mention it…" the smirks fells off the girls' faces as they stared incredulously at the head in the fire. He proceeded to tell them all about Caroline, "And if I tell the boys about her, they'll think she's a made up scam because James has got this mad theory I'm in love with you because he saw me hug you on the train, if they see her, they'll think she's a random girl I've bribed with homework or something and start asking weird questions, if I just introduce you to her, she'll be suspicious of you, and the guys won't like her anyway because she's a muggle."

Holly looked at him, mentally picking her lower jaw off the floor, "Remus, we'll think about it – get some sleep." She tried to sound as non-patronizing as possible… - cough - cough -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A few days later, Holly sighed as she tossed over on the other side of her sun bed, looking accusingly at herself. Her family had gone off somewhere, and she was left for a few hours to bask in the sun in the comfort of her own (rather large) garden. Despite what some might think, she hated her body. Oh yes, it was definitely attention grabbing, but it always got her the wrong kind of attention. That is, the attention from people she didn't want, Sirius amongst those.

She knew, however, that Sirius was partially joking (although he wouldn't say no to a chance with her), but it really irritated her having to send out "don't even think about it" vibes all the time. She felt it gave her a permanently bored expression, and shoved all the "nice blokes" far, far away from her. Blokes like Frank... _No! You will not think about him!_

Holly regretfully shook her head, obeying her inner conscience. It would do her no good to daydream… daydream! She hadn't been thinking about solving Remus' visions! Oh well, Lily must have been doing something other than thinking about James…She hoped…Or would she.

The blonde reached out and fumbled about on the table beside her for her mobile,

"Lily?" There was an "I'm eating cookies at the moment but I can hear you" noise of acknowledgement on the other end, "Lily, what are you doing?" She asked. There was a swallow.

"Eating cookies, why?" From the scrunching sound following, Lily was obviously holding the packet up to the device to prove she was telling the truth.

"Yeah, okay, I get that you're eating cookies, but why." There was a short pause and then a wail,

"What if James doesn't love me anymore, what if he's fed up with me because I was so mean to him. Hollyyyy!"

"Of course he loves you." She replied, a tad absently. It was going to be one of _those_ calls again. There followed half an hour more Lily-reassuring, before Holly actually got to the point.

"Lily, have you spoken to Remus after last time we spoke with him?"

"Oh, yeah, he said that he wanted us to go round this evening to his mother's _little get together _and meet Caroline." This was an extremely shocking week for Holly.

"Meet Caroline? Who else is going to be there?" she moaned.

"Meet Caroline." Lily confirmed. "A few family friends and the classy section of the neighbourhood. So you have to smile and be nice. And clothes! Nothing too pretty, either, we don't want her to think that Remus likes you or me. I think he's intending for her to make friends with us before she meets the Marauders. You know, just so she's assured Remus knows _some_ normal people."

"Okay then. I'm coming round to yours this evening by the way. I've invited myself." She replied.

"I was going to invite you anyway, but never mind. See you later." Holly heard Lily hang up, and then dragged herself into an upright position. Summer holidays really weren't a time for relaxing.

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

That evening, Lily's door was opened to find, as she had ordered, one Holly, dressed nicely, nothing too pretty, ready to go to the Lupin's. "Do we have to go immediately?" Was her enthusiastic greeting.

Lily merely laughed and gestured her in, admiring her taste. A light summer skirt and a strappy top completed with sparkly flip-flops and a few bracelets; Lily smirked evilly, "Very nice – Frank would like it." Holly whipped around.

"How did you! You! Oh. My. God. Just don't say anything to anyone. Please – I'll behave myself tonight." She promised.

The girls apparated themselves to the werewolf's lair fashionably late, after all the teasing, that is.

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

Holly seriously thought that she was going to die of boredom. Seriously – these people had nothing exciting to talk about. Although she was a half-blood herself, and grew up in the muggle world, she never realised how much she missed Hogwarts when she was surrounded with people who wouldn't know all the in-jokes, the enchantments and general day to day life – not even about Hogsmede. It was quite a shock for her when no-one made any Herbology jokes when they found out her name. Various people had been asking her all evening, if she was going to go to university, what she wanted to do, what she did at the moment – on and on and on.

Oh dear. Remus Lupin aka walking talking encyclopaedia was beckoning herself and Lily over to be introduced to an extremely pretty girl clutching his arm. Unfortunately for her, her legs obeyed and she approached the pair at the same time as Lily with a smile on her face.

"Caroline, this is Lily and Holly. They both attend the same school as me," he improvised, "You two, this is Caroline." He looked to them both with a "please don't screw this up for me" look, and Lily just couldn't be that mean to him.

"Caroline, we've heard so much about you!" Lily offered her hand. Caroline extended her dainty hand and shook Lily's, then offered the same greeting to Holly. Remus was thanking his lucky stars Holly was keeping her scathing comments inside her head; he had seen her sulky look earlier.

"Oh, I've heard a bit about you too." Holly switched off. The girl pronounced every letter, in an educated and measured tone. Kind of like the tone she was supposed to have learned from her mother. She wanted to tell Remus that he'd soon get bored of this girl, but then she began to think. Caroline really was good for him – she'd write him flowing letters whilst he was at "boarding school up North", greet him at the train station, be taken to dinner (and use the napkin properly), spend his money for him and go out to coffee mornings.

Even though she didn't really like her, Holly made an effort to be charming, after all – she wasn't about to break up Remus' first proper relationship. Plus there was her promise to Lily as well.

Holly wondered if now that Lily had found out about Frank, she'd force her to do something. She hoped not – after all, Holly was very uncharacteristically patient about waiting for Lily to realise that she loved James…

_**Seriously, people I haven't had a review in a long, long, time - is it really that bad?**_

_**Reviews would be appreciated.**_

_**Love,**_

_**x Imperial Princess x**_


	12. Summer, Part V – Peter

**Disclaimer: If Harry Potter was split into two sections – an "owning" section and a "wishing to own" section, I regretfully admit that I would be in the "wishing to own" section.**

**Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy**

_Chapter 12 – Summer, Part V – Peter_

_**Previously:**_

_Holly wondered if now that Lily had found out about Frank, she'd force her to do something. She hoped not – after all, Holly was very uncharacteristically patient about waiting for Lily to realise that she loved James…_

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It was the penultimate week of the summer holidays. Peter lounged around his bedroom and grimaced at the piles that seemed to have mounted up over the holidays. Mounds of underwear, empty sweet wrappers, crumpled pieces of paper and Merlin knows what else were scattered around on the floor and various surfaces. It seemed as though the floor had been swallowed up in one giant mouthful of rubbish that was spurting out its long tentacles to cover the other furniture. Peter sighed dispiritedly. His friends had abandoned him – Remus at last was paying more attention to the feminine form, and whilst this was a joyous revelation, it did meant that Remus was otherwise occupied; Sirius had scarpered into hiding when he learned that the Blacks were all remaining at Grimmauld Place until New Year, and James was behaving rather… strange, just lately.

Shoving the mess amassed on his rickety bed aside, he threw himself onto his back, with a fascinating view of the ceiling while he pondered what had actually happened to James recently. It had seemed that a new _work ethic_ had appeared in the marauder; an alien concept to most of his friends. Peter thought back to walking in on James completing his holiday homework in the first few weeks of the holidays. No-one, Peter contemplated, _no-one_ committed such a crime like that – well, except Remus, but he was just bizarre that way. Even then, the marauders usually took precautions not to catch sight of textbooks, for fear that they caught a nasty case of _Bunk-off-itis_ that might last into the school term.

"Petey?" Shouted a voice, "Have you finished cleared up that hovel of yours? I haven't seen that carpet for weeks!" He sighed, not even bothered to yell back a half-hearted negative answer to his mother. Lazily, he rummaged around under his pillow until he came up with a wand. Although it had been his cousins and suited him well, it did look a bit battered and worn around the edges. Systematically, he began to levitate the top layer of filthy clothes away into a corner near his door before he got around to shooting textbooks onto his desk from when he had turned his trunk upside down. Spotting a rather thick book half hidden underneath the edge of some greying socks, he aimed his wand at it.

It was a strange book; he didn't recognise it. Bringing it as close to him as he could bear, he gave his wand a little flick to try and jolt the clinging sock off, that was emitting a pungent cheesy aroma "I think you'd do better manually, my boy." Drawled the sneering voice of his small mirror. Although he threw the sock at it, he did reach out an arm to pick up the book (minus the sock). It had a plain black cover, with not writing as to the title. Absently he flicked the front cover over, jumping slightly when the book made a small hiccup. It was not the sort of hiccup due to drinking lemonade too quickly and stopping before it bubbles up your nose, but the kind of hiccup sounded after a crying session; a tearful, shaky hiccup that made Peter lean closer to the book. It hiccupped again. He stroked the book's spine and turned another page.

"Peter, have you even heard me?" His mother shrilled, startling him. Seeing that the book had not been written it, he tossed it casually aside, grumbling about impatience. He decided that the better carry on with clearing his "hovel" before he had to make his own meal tonight.

Miserably turning back to his arduous task, he mused upon what it would be like if his friends really did all leaving him for better things. What if James really did capture the attentions of Lily? A few years from now would the two of them be sitting on their back porch in the cooling heat reminiscing about old times at Hogwarts when they hated each other? Peter fell into a reverie.

_A dragonfly landed upon a flower drooping slightly as the heat died down and it was able to dredge up supplied of mostly parched water. His movements were followed by two pairs of eyes. Stretching his legs out down the few steps so they were splashed with the weak rays of sun, James extended an arm around the redhead sitting beside him. She was content to sit there leaning against him slightly in silence as the evening drifted on, before she laughed quietly._

"_Can you remember when I was sitting at the lake with my feet in like that," ahe glanced to his legs sprawled in front of him, "When you came and put my arm around me, then I shoved you in the lake?"_

_In turn, James smiled, "I think it was one of your more surprising nonverbal refusals." He added, "It took Remus ages to stop Sirius howling with laughter whenever anyone mentioned it afterwards."_

_She shivered slightly as a gust of wind whipped her hair over her bare shoulders, "Shall we go in?" She asked, turning to look at him. James leapt to his feet, and extended a hand to her. As she placed her in his, he jerked it up so she almost flew into him. Lily raised her eyebrow and cuffed him with her left hand, a ring sparkling as it caught the glowing light, "Come on." She said mock reproachfully, leading him into their house._

Would it really be like that? Peter wondered, gathering up sweet wrappers. But even then, he'd still have Remus and Sirius…

"_Pass the celery, please, darling." A nasal voice sounded. A voluptuous blonde leaned over as Remus offered her a plate of celery with a smile. He looked slightly pale, as though it had just been the full moon a few days ago, though he didn't seem as tired or strained as Peter had experienced._

"_There you go, Caroline." He said charmingly, "Though you really don't need to diet." She laughed a tinkling laugh and nudged his foot playfully with hers under the table in their pristine kitchen._

"_All the girls are; I wouldn't want them to feel out of place." She replied. Peter would have expected Remus to scoff at this and tell her that she needed to put on some weight, but she carried on, "I had asplendid time in Paris for the week – although I did miss you." She sent him a look from under her lashes._

"_Though the absence was worth your while, judging by the amount of shopping bags Jeeves carried out of the taxi, and I got that urgent report finished. Unfortunately I'll probably be sent on the business long weekend, so I'm afraid you shall have only a month of my company left for another while." Her hand flew gracefully to her mouth,_

"_Oh Remus, you must work so hard! They always choose you to go on their little meetings." Peter doubted that she'd done a day's hard work in her life – or even knew what the word really meant. Remus, however, merely smiled at her and covered her perfectly manicured hand with his scarred one,_

_I know, Gorgeous, but that's the price you have to pay to live here." She nodded like a little girl, and Peter paused in his vision to gaze around at the lavish decoration with designer furnishings in the large, open room with double patio doors leading out into a manicured garden._

A frown descended upon Peter's face as he reconsidered – well, maybe it was only Sirius left, then.

_Flashing lights blinded him as Sirius gave a wide smile, "Well, you know – it takes hard work and constant practice to produce the leading Quidditch team for two years running. As manager, I do take a lot of the strain –"The interview carried on, amidst loud cheers and screams from the crowd. The euphoria of England having won the Quidditch World Cup yet again was still soaring in their bodies._

_When Sirius had managed to extract himself form the hoards of journalists and photographers, he crashed through private doors into a luxurious and peaceful room full of the players and friends or guests. He strolled up to James who was standing next to Reums (who was sipping a large glass of iced water), and received a clap on the shoulder, "I'm frankly amazed you did it, after that scandal two weeks ago." Sirius snorted,_

"_Come on, mate – it wasn't half a saved screw up as that bloody arrow-formation you tried out on Hufflepuff all though years ago – I haven't forgotten!" The three strolled into the crow of the famous, bantering like old school friends who were as close as brothers._

Peter blinked and slowly, his room came back into focus. When they all left Hogwarts, what if his friends never wanted anything to do with him anymore? What if they all found their own fiancées and had their own houses and –his stomach sank slightly – what about children? Fame or fortune? What if they all forgot about him – little Peter Pettigrew, the weedy tag-along?

He returned desolately to his room, going back to his chore in solitary silence.

_Here's an update – I hope you appreciate it. Exams starts really really soon so I don't think I'll be able to update again very soon ;(_

_Reviews are like oxygen to me…_

_x x x_


	13. Summer, Part VI – James

**Disclaimer: Well, if we keep on having to admit that we don't own Harry Potter every time we update, then we'll all be crying tears of sadness before the fic is done.**

**Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy**

_Chapter 13 – Summer, Part 6 – James_

James moodily tossed his textbooks into his trunk on top of all his completed homework. He was still a marauder in spirit, oh yes. He had been planning pranks for the whole holidays. Though as he thought about all the times Lily had refused to go out with him (quite violently at times), he couldn't help but feel a bit depressed. Yes, he had to admit to himself that originally he constantly asked her out purely to irritate her. It annoyed her so well, and put that sparkle in her eye as she rebuked him.

He wanted to make her eyes shine like that in happiness, rather than hatred. Plus, her words over the years had become harsh and cruel. She used to start out with a simple, "No," maybe even a, "No, Potter," if he was lucky. But now she was comparing him to the Giant Squid… and the Squid was coming out on top.

However, as well as shutting himself away moping around, he had also come up with a Grand. A Foolproof. An _Evil _Master Plan. He mused upon it to himself,

"It shall be called… the Gfemp!" He ran his hand through his hair, checking out the reflection it offered. And what a reflection it was! Such an image even gave him the spirit to go downstairs and visit the kitchen. His mother was sitting at the table outside, reading through _Witch Weekly_. She looked up as she heard him enter the kitchen,

"Oh, it's good to see you out of your room, James." She called, putting down her magazine. "I except its quite stuffy in there," she commented, ignoring the scowl from her son, "I've just sent an owl to Sirius, inviting him for Sunday lunch tomorrow as usual so you can go to Diagon Alley and get your books – I expect you two will have some catching up to do before you go back to Hogwarts on Monday. Your father has offered to take you both to Platform nine and three-quarters."

James nodded and thanked her before he started to snoop around for some lunch. Although he hated to admit it, he was rather sad that this would be the last time he went to Hogwarts. He would never get to smash Slytherin in a game of Quidditch after seventh year, or get detention – though the detention he wouldn't miss terribly.

The pride of being a Gryffindor would have no value in the world outside Hogwarts, and even still in the magical community, it would all be in the past. After this school year, he would be entering a world of adults, where he would have to behave himself and take responsibility if he wanted to get anywhere. The Hogwarts family would be gone, no longer in the school environment living with his friends, going to classes (or skipping them). There would be no Hospital Wing, no Great Hall for breakfast, no –

Who was he, and what had he done with himself? James quickly shook himself of these negative thoughts, and wolfed down a slice of cake, determined to enjoy his last year at Hogwarts – even if he was single.

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"The _Gfemp_?" Sirius clarified disparagingly, "Prongs, what sort of a poncy name is that?" He snorted, chucking James' quaffle back through the air at him as they lazed in the Potters' back garden.

"It's a _secret_ name." James replied in hushed tones, "You see, if we actively went around calling it," he put on an exaggerated, booming voice, "The Grad Foolproof Master Plan," his voice returned to its usual tone, "then people would get suspicious." He concluded.

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but James interrupted him, "But if we call it the _Gfemp_, then people aren't going to be interested and work it out." Sirius considered the issue.

Finally, he clapped James on the shoulder, "That's a brilliant plan, mate." James smirked and shrugged nonchalantly, "Completely crazy… but brilliant. Welcome back to the Marauders."

James sat up, "What do you mean _Welcome back_?" He raised an eyebrow, "I have always been a fully fledged Marauder." He stated.

Sirius laughed, "Then why did Pete and I walk in on you doing," He made a face," Urgh, _Holiday Homework_?" James sniffed mock haughtily, then leaned in towards Sirius as though they might be overheard, abandoning the quaffle. He looked side to side around the deserted garden before whispering,

"It's part of the Gfemp." He leaned back to a gale of laughter from Sirius,

"What, letting me win more detentions than you? That's already too easy, Prongs." James rolled his eyes,

"No – maybe Lily will notice me more if I actually do some work." He said, as though explaining the alphabet to a small child.

Sirius looked horrified, "You mean to say you're actually going to do homework? Properly? Besides, she notices you already – just not in a good way."

James waved a hand in the air, "Well, maybe I'll go and sit in the library with Moony and get him to help me…"

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After a tearful goodbye from Mrs Potter, Mr Potter had managed to drive both boys to the station for the final time. He parked his car somewhat awkwardly, not really being accustomed to driving it often. He only really owned a car so the muggle neighbours didn't wonder how the Potters managed without one.

James and Sirius casually strolled over to the barrier and leaned against it, before subtly slipping through with their luggage. Mr Potter waited for them before walking straight at the barrier, only to be confronted with his son on the ground of the Hogwarts Platform, Sirius howling with laughter whilst a pretty girl with red hair looked on hopelessly. He guessed that was the Lily Evans he had been hearing about all this time.

James launched himself to his feet and promptly hit Sirius, so his laughter sounded more like coughs.

"Must you two start a fight before you've even got on the train?" A familiar, exasperated voice belonging to Remus Lupin sounded behind them. He turned to shake Mr Potter's hand with a greeting before James' father faded into the line of parents skulking in the background, pretending they weren't watching their children.

"Moony!" Sirius pounced on him in an enthusiastic welcome, noticing that Remus looked almost as if he had energy to spare, which he definitely should not, considering the cycle of the moon.

"Good morning, Sirius," he paused, "James?" He poked the black haired boy hard in the shoulder to bring him back to the real world. "James?" He repeated.

James was standing there in a state of shock. He had just made an utter fool of himself, and Lily Evans had not said a word. She had looked at him almost as though… she pitied him. A sharp pain in his shoulder caused his vision to focus again and he noticed Remus standing beside him. "Moony!" He exclaimed, "How've you been?"

Remus gave a wolfish smile of smugness before craning his neck for the remaining member of the Marauders. He spotted Peter attempting to extricate himself from his mother's embrace. "Let's rescue Pete and get a compartment – we'll have most of the journey to discuss our summers with each other. I've got a Prefect meeting first again, but that should be over fairly quickly." He said, already making his way over to Peter Pettigrew.

His mother reluctantly let go of him and Peter dragged his luggage towards his friends with a quick, "Hi!" and a wave. They all pushed their way through the crowd of bewildered first years, teary mothers and smug fifth years and jostled a few Slytherins out the way to the train doors. The Marauders hauled their trunks aboard the Hogwarts Express, and James turned to give a final wave to his father, who returned it. They forced their way through until they came to their usual compartment near the end of the train.

James and Sirius made themselves at home and sprawled their luggage all over the compartment whilst Remus stacked his trunk neatly in the corner, offering to tidy Peter's trunk as well. A sharp whistle pierced the air and all four boys crammed together to look out the open window as though they were first years as, for their last time, the Hogwarts Express began to move off on its journey to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

_Please may I have some reviews? It's very disheartening to see that my loyal readers seem to have vanished xx_


	14. Between You and the Giant Squid

A/N: As with anything in life, nothing ever seems to happen at the right time. Inspiration strikes just as exams are scheduled. The result of this is that I have decided to re-post TSTJ as a decent piece of work.

The re-post is under the title _Between You and the Giant Squid_ and can be found here:

_www[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/s/5106932/1/Between_You_and_the_Giant_Squid_


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